Firstly, pleaseeee no judgement. I’m already kicking myself in the *** 😩

I’ve been on 2-4mg of Xanax a day for the last few months. I had a previous dependency prior to becoming a parent..I was prescribed Xanax in 2009ish (after being diagnosed with anxiety and after a few trips to the ER thinking I have having a heart attack) and tapered off in 2022 before giving birth to my son.

Right before this: I got married in 2021 and moved out of state (husband is military) and got pregnant. I had previously had a few seizures a few months prior to getting pregnant because I had stopped taking the medication and I wasn’t educated about the withdrawal symptoms.

Anyways, I had built up quite the stash but hadn’t needed to take any—I think motherhood took up all of my time and I was just too busy to feel any type of anxiousness. Which was great, I even went through another pregnancy and gave birth again in 2023. My husband deployed in April so I was left to solo parent for the duration. I started having a hard time sleeping and ultimately turned to taking half a Xanax to put myself to sleep because without it I would stay up until about 3am and my kids were wide awake by 6:30am and I was running on no sleep. So now that I have 5 pills left, I am kind of panicking because I don’t want to have any withdrawal symptoms (mainly a seizure) so I made a call to my doctor and she prescribed me 1 Xanax to get me through the rest of the week and made an appointment with me on Monday. I guess I’m seeking advice as to what to expect. I’m a stay at home mom, I told her I was looking to taper off as I had in 2022, and over the phone she said something along the lines of basically a rehab?!? Like WTH I don’t have time for a rehab. I have my kids to take care of. Do I just suck it up and go through withdrawals? I’m terrified to have a seizure.