The BPD part of me makes it nearly impossible for me to keep jobs because I always end up hating everywhere I work within a few months. I get severely depressed when I have to go to work every day and Ive tried so many different psych meds that idek what I haven't tried at this point. No psych med other than Xanax has proven to work for this problem.

I understand that no one should have to be popping any pills just to get get through work and this shitty life capitalism has created, and I mean that includes SSRI'S, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, etc. But I swear that a dose of even .5 Xanax helps work pass by faster and helps me not give a fuck just a little bit and it helps me get through my work day so much without flipping tf out!! It helps me not want to rage quit my job like I always have done. Anyone else experience this too?

I should also mention I am prescribed 15 mg abilify, 150 mg Wellbutrin, 20 mg propranolol, and 1200 mg gabapentin as well, so I'm not only depending on the Xanax here to help me with my work depression and my BPD. I should also mention I have abused Xanax for many years in the past, so it is my drug of choice. But I have it controlled now that I don't take it for many days in a row. I just wish it weren't true that it helps me with work so much because I wish I could just take it every day at work with no problems on my psyche. Ugh.