Ok, hear me out.

Not only does Robert have a sweet-ass flamethrower, he's also got an unlimited supply of Adderall, gas station boner pills and roughly 1000 mg of Mexican tramadol.

Bobby E can also call in a blitzkrieg, spearheaded by Garrison and a fleet of flaming-tennis-ball-shooting tanks, but they can only enter the battlefield if Robert is able to do one of two things: (1) say something nice about one of Ben Shapiro's books or (2) pronounce Monticello correctly a single time in his existence.

The ants do have a nuke, but they're also fucking ants, so what are they gonna do with a nuke? Crawl all over it with their stupid little ant legs? Tapping on it with their fuggin micro-antlers like some sort of sloppily drunk Stevie Wonder 🙄

And yes, that nightmare face pictured above is indeed an actual ant face, so they do have a bit of that fear-factor element going for them, no Rogan.

Anyway, who wins? Nudes in bio.