[Mistress/Slave] [Humiliation] [Pain slut] [Edging] [Public Slut] [Bondage] [TPE] [Blackmail]

Hello everyone. Here i am writing my diary as a slave while at work because i am extremely horny and i needed some distraction to keep my slutty mind focused on the right things.

i might, or might not end up doing some edges during working hours at this rate if my horniness keeps spiking.

Imagine my laptop showing work stuff, my right hand holding the mouse pretending to be looking at my work stuff while my left hand slides underneath my panties and starts rubbing my clit softly. Ahhh… this is so humiliating … Plus if i want to do it, i gotta tell Mistress first! Sometimes i wonder whether people will hear me breathing heavily if i were to edge in online meetings especially those online meetings when i have to talk or present!

As usual, my dms is open to anyone (including subs) for comments, suggestions, and feedback. If you have an idea or if you're looking for a like-minded friend, please feel free to drop a message. A big thank you to those who commented on my earlier posts as well. They are all great encouragement for me to keep writing and share about my days of being Mistress’ slave.

*IMPORTANT NOTE\* There is a little blackmail content in this post that originates from a dream i had earlier. So if it is not for you, please skip this post. But if you'd still like to read it but skip the blackmail part, just look out for further trigger warnings i placed before and after the blackmail section so that you can skip it partially. It is also important to let everyone know that this is done consensually.

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i was on my 6th day of denial and for the past few days, i have done more than 15 edges (if i recall correctly). i feel my pussy throbbing, i can feel that it’s wet, twitching and my clit is eagerly asking for so much attention.

As usual, i was fighting the urge to touch and edge again (i was so horny i felt like i could edge all day, but it would be so great if Mistress would let me have orgasms later at night if i have the courage to ask for permission).

Sleeping wasn’t helping much either. If at all, it contributed so much to all these pent-up horniness. I had several kinky dreams, sometimes they are consecutively continuing from the night before and sometimes they are like short chapters all happening over a nap.

i don’t exactly remember each of them in detail but i am sharing the ones that i recalled and found interesting.

Dream 1

In this dream, i took the small transparent dildo i had and used my ropes to tie both edges of the dildo forming a DIY bit gag. Then, i tied knots following the bit gag forming reins and gagged myself with it. i also used the ropes and did a self-tie boob harness. My nipples were then clamped by the nipple clamps with a chain and a “BITCH” tag hung at the middle of the chain. My hands were cuffed behind my back and i was to assume the position where i arched my back and my feet are placed next to each other. Then, i practised my steps as Mistress’ ponygirl for as long as i could remember. i was drooling from the bit gag. My nipples hurt from each step taken, the chain shaking and pulling my nipples. i felt dehumanised. i was in Pony Space and pony doesn’t speak. While doing my steps, i also pictured Mistress spanking me using the crop to give me instructions like to speed up or slow down, Mistress taking away my privilege to speak where i am only allowed to neigh or stomp my foot (hoof) in response and so forth. When i woke up from this dream, i fantasized about being given a pony name when Mistress dehumanised me into her filly one day.

Dream 2

In my opinion, this dream was kinda mean for a slut like me who loves cumming more than anything. i’m not even sure if there’s any pleasure felt in this dream. In my dream, i remembered myself begging Miss over and over again for permission to be fucked by the dildo. i remembered wanting it so badly i vaguely remember making videos begging hungrily for it. Finally, my wish was granted. i was given permission to fuck myself using the dildo in a way that pleases Mistress. i was to quickly thrust the dildo into my pussy once, remove it and suck (deepthroat) it twice, and repeat. However, i was not allowed to edge nor have any orgasms, and i was only allowed to fuck myself this way until my pussy starts gapping. i remembered how torturous it felt. My pussy was tight so it hurt when i had to thrust the dildo in roughly, what more just once every time. My pussy could barely enjoy the feeling and it’s just gone right after. My mouth, on the other hand, had to take the dildo entirely which means my mouth got to enjoy more of it. The denial of orgasm and pleasure put me in my place when i woke up. i am just Mistress’ toy to be used for her entertainment. My pleasure is not even a factor that should be considered.

(Given that i know how mean Mistress would be sometimes, i didn’t tell her about this dream though.)

\**Blackmailing context below. Please read with care.**\**

Dream 3

As a slave who is into being blackmailed by my Mistress and has surrendered all control to Mistress, i guess this dream is most likely as a result of myself being recently reminded again by my Mistress of the blackmailing materials she has of me that could ruin my life.

In this dream, i recalled myself being on my knees where i took a picture of myself slightly from a higher angle. My face to thighs was covered with information of myself written in black and red marker, along with humiliating remarks such as “is always horny”, “slut”, “whore”, “public slut”, “owned slave” etc. i was drooling over the inflatable gag, plugged and my clit, just above the dildo on the floor but i was not allowed to make contact with the dildo, and my nipples clamped by the clover clamps. It was another blackmailing material that i had to send to Miss in my dream.

(i also did not tell Miss about this dream though. i am planning to maybe send her one as a gift since her birthday is coming up and i guess it would be something that she might like since she loves humiliating me a lot.)

\**End of Blackmailing context**\**

Later in the afternoon, Mistress also had me send some pictures of myself (or my toys) to random strangers as her little public slut since she can do whatever she pleases to her slave (me).

i was also teased along the way. Not to mention, i had to compile all the hotels' selections for her to choose the hotel that i would be staying at during my upcoming work trip. Correction: In her words, a hotel where people could see her use me. We chose a hotel with a pool view and a balcony that seems to have a good view that Mistress likes (i hope it does though!).

With all this going on, i finally told Miss that i would be edging now just so that i could touch myself. i did 3 edges over a short span of time. i wanted to touch more but i didn’t want to fuck up and cum so i had to stop for the time being. i was also fighting the urge of having to beg for orgasms because a brat like me cannot give in just so easily!

i started to rub my thighs for more stimulation, my nipples were perky and attention-seeking. At night, my mind was already on its knees. i decided to give in and beg Mistress for permission to cum. i even told her that if she would not give permission, my backup plan was to continue edging until i felt happy about it.

Unfortunately, thanks to my blabbering mouth, Mistress had me edge once to prove that i was extremely horny. It took me less than 1 minute to get as close as i could. Ugh, it was so frustrating, i wished i could cum so badly. i asked Mistress for permission to cum again hoping that she would say yes and not have me edge again. (Honestly, my brain was thinking, anything but edging please)

Fortunately, i was allowed to have three orgasms but of course, on condition that Miss laid out. According to Mistress, since i am so sensitive and horny, i wouldn’t need much stimulation to have orgasms and i should be able to cum from just anything. So, Miss had me sit with my back leaning against the wall, spread my legs, and use the riding crop to spank my clit until i am done with all three orgasms. i was also not allowed to touch anywhere else apart from spanking my poor clit and feeling the pain from the spankings while cumming.

The theory of course is that humiliation that i had orgasms from just pain and minimal stimulation (what a pain slut!), and the eagerness/neediness to cum that i would just continue to spank myself until i come three times.

For the entire two minutes, i have spanked myself hard (since Mistress had forbidden me to be gentle to myself), squirted from the pain i felt, and moaned in the spanks while trying to keep my thighs wide open. My clit and pussy were red and sore after cumming three times. i came feeling no pleasure but solely pain. i did however feel relieved from all the pent-up frustration i had and i am extremely thankful for the way Mistress had reminded me again that my pain is her pleasure and i am always used for her entertainment. Even when i am granted orgasms, they are not always pleasurable. But, i am extremely happy to have pleased Mistress plus i still think she is lovely and kind in her own way!

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Once again, journaling today has made me soak my panties.

Thank you for reading and i hope it wasn’t too long? As always, all dms are welcome. If you have comments/suggestions/wanna be a friend, please feel free to drop me a dm!

Also, thank you for being supportive as i have just started to be Mistress’ public slut so i’m still learning!