[TPE] [Denial] [Mistress-Slave]

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It was about 4:00 a.m. my time after i did some chores. i checked my phone and realised that Miss had just texted me asking about how many views i had in my last post.

(i felt exposed having to check the number of viewers and also fully owned by Miss when reporting it)

Upon updating her, she replied with a blissful emoji. Obviously, she was pleased and i could feel as if she was in the 'mood', like the 'mood' to use her toy - me. She then continued to tease me about showing me off to the public. which reminds me, i do really have no choice but to obey (welp, that's just what my sub side thinks and not the bratty side :p \super evil grins*)* cause i surrendered my right to have a safe word and decided to become her slave, property, toy, pet, filly, and whatever she chooses me to be.

Then, she realized it was rather late for me (well it was 4:00 a.m.) so she told me that i should get some sleep but i didn't want to cause genius me wanted to watch an episode of Grey's first at least before going to bed. and, i didn't want to lie by just saying i will so i asked for permission to watch Grey's or a Korean show first before bed. (i forgot she was in the mood :'))

i got my permission to watch an episode, with a condition of course. Dreadful conditions... i am to tease my clit for the entire episode, but i am not allowed to edge or cum at all! All these, right before bed (not to mention i still have to edge before bed).

Oh. my. lord. i'd say that's a fine idea to remind her slave that her Mistress owns her and that she is under TPE. i also doubt i'd know what the entire episode would be about since i am forbidden to edge and cum.

Miss then had me put on my ball gag. (no idea why but i kept on drooling more than usual >.<) i also had to flash her a tit while i was gagged. i felt so slutty doing that and humiliated. i knew that i was so turned on too i couldn't wait to touch myself.

After that, i was told to keep the ball gag in for 20 minutes more and i was allowed to go watch my show while teasing myself. i chose to watch Grey's. i got one finger on my clit and started the show. i started by making slow circles around my clit, trying to control my breath and not moan cause it would feel extremely embarrassing to moan while watching a normal show (not porn)!

It did not take me more than 1 minute to realize the actual difficulty of this task - no edging. i realized that if i can't edge, i wouldn't be able to cum but with every rub against my clit, i feel so close to edging. i tried to change from circling to petting my clit very slowly, to rubbing the sides, to pinching it softly hoping that the different sensations could hold me back from edging.

i also tried to focus more on breathing but i knew i was drooling all over cause my sleepwear was soaked. My finger was also very wet and i could feel that my clit was so sensitive. i want to edge so badly that i would give up cumming ever again (at that time!!). i'd beg for Mistress to at least let me edge. i felt as if i was at Mistress' mercy. Even as i watched the show, i am just a slutty slave toy to be used by Mistress at all times without having regard to what i am doing. i felt entirely under Miss' total control and power. The idea of not being allowed to edge at all was overwhelming. Every minute felt like torture with my body saying otherwise as i got more and more turned on.

i'd have to admit if Mistress was watching, she'd be so pleased cause i could see the reflection of my face begging for mercy. i don't want to stop touching, but at the same time, i do. i want to be able to edge, at least, please.

i rubbed my clit softer and softer as i could feel it bulging, asking for attention. i felt like a whore wanting so much attention. and i couldn't stop teasing my clit during the entire episode. Endurance is my friend at probably about a 10-minute point. i tried to focus more on the show, which obviously failed. i did not know what was going on during the entire episode apart from the needy me teasing my clit and not being allowed to edge for the entire episode, feeling as if Miss' hand was around my neck reminding me who i am.

After the 45-minutes episode ended, i thanked Miss for denying me and owning me. To be honest, i had never felt so denied. i had never done a task like this that deprived me of edging. i felt like i earned the privilege to watch the show but paid the price of being forbidden to edge and cum. (Not to mention, i have not been allowed to have orgasms yet until today! partially cause i haven't begged for it >.<)

And!! writing this post about the task i did just reminded me of this entire episode again.

Question: would i want to do it again?

Yes, i would, no doubt. i enjoy being denied by Miss cause it's so hot, she has all the control and i would be so desperate to do anything even though denial is torturous. It's pain x pleasure. (Also we will pretend i never said yes :p)

Thank you for reading my diary. i try to put my thoughts in it and be more expressive to make it more interesting to read (hopefully) and i hope you enjoy reading it!

And... if you have any comments, queries or so, please feel free to pm me or comment below.

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