In a recent post, I shared that I was looking back on my diaries and was amazed to see how far I've come from being a vanilla, conservative girl with only mild kinky fantasies to a now conditioned horny, submissive, kinky slut/whore who loves to be used for pleasure - All thanks to my Master and hypnosis.

I had asked if anyone would be interested in reading. I've had many people messaging saying yes...so here goes!

This was my first ever diary entry.. I believe it was 2 or 3 days after meeting VisitorQ, who is now my Master and He had given me this task 🤭

17th July 2020

I was given a task to write a daily diary. I've never done a diary before so this should be interesting. I have a lot of catching up to do.

The last couple of days have been a blur so I'll write down everything I can remember. I remember looking for a sleep hypnosis to help me sleep earlier because I dont usually fall asleep until 1 am and wanted to get to sleep at around 1Opm. This plan didn't happen. Somehow I stumbled across an erotic hypnosis video. I didn't play it because i wasn't really sure what it was about. I decided to have a read up on the subject and this is where I suddenly became very curious. The idea of having someone taking control of your mind and body, sparked something inside of me. I've always been turned on from the idea of someone dominating me but never even thought that someone could also dominate your mind. As I kept on reading, getting more and more excited, I came across an internet chat site where you can meet real hypnotists that specialise in this particular subject. I dont know what came over me, I just went for it.

Heart racing from the unknown. As soon as I set up my account, I posted a little message in the chat. Suddenly i was flooded with inbox messages. Thinking to myself, I cant believe I'm actually doing this! I read one message. I cant remember the name .. he seemed ok at first. But soon I came to realise he was a bit of a creep. Within a few minutes of talking to him, he started talking about me being his hypno bimbo. I had bad vibes and blocked him. The next one on the list was a woman. I'm not into women, I think they're beautiful but at the same time I couldn't be sexual with them. Such a turn off for me. Buuuut, I was tempted to do hypnosis with her because I thought I might be able to test the waters. I sat there for a few minutes thinking whether to reply but then I found myself looking through the inbox list. There was only one person with an actual picture. Wasnt hiding his identity. His name .. VisitorQ. I read his message, which was very polite so thought I'd reply. Again, my heart was racing. I was nervous. He said he has a lot of experience with BDSM and some experience with hypnosis, also mentioning that he has been very successful with the hypnosis.

The conversation continued .. he was asking about me, about my interest in the subject etc. The conversation was flowing nicely and I started to feel more relaxed and also.. excited. But ... He asked if we could we do a voice call? My heart stopped for a second. Reality hit me. This is actually happening! I was then worrying about my housemate, she was downstairs and sound travels really well in this house. I wanted to do it but I was scared of being caught lol I thought I could do it that night, when she was asleep, as her room is the other end of the house. I had to tell Visitor Q that I couldn't do it. I thought he would lose interest .. I had to be honest though. To my surprise, he was understanding and said he was happy to do it later. The conversation continued, we shared our pictures, the whole time he seemed such a gentleman. He was also very handsome too. I really enjoyed the conversation. I cant remember what happened after that conversation finished. I just remember really looking forward to the next conversation that was coming later that night. Fast forward. The time had come. Heart racing really fast because we were about to have the call. I was so nervous, however, he didn't go straight in for the call; he started to ask more questions to get to know me a little more and vice versa. Asking about my fantasies etc This really helped calm me, but I was actually getting really turned on! Especially when he was talking about his interests in the subject. It was time for the call. Again, thinking to myself, I cant believe I'm doing this! After a few problems with the connection, we were able to start. I was incredibly nervous but he was able to calm me quickly before we started. He has a very lovely voice with a German accent, which made it even better. The hypnosis began.

Continued I remember feeling extremely relaxed, to the point I couldn't move a muscle .. it was strange .. not only couldn't I move, I didn't even want to move. I only really remember being extremely horny, at that point, more than I have ever been before. I could feel strong sensations on my breasts and nipples, my pussy was getting more and more wet! I could feel it trickling down to my ass. My pussy was pulsing and throbbing like I've never experienced. I became so desperate! Omg. It was incredible.. I could have easily came at any second, I wanted to so bad but something was stopping me. He wouldn't allow me too. For some reason, I couldn't ignore that. I had such a compelling feeling of wanting to please him. It was wild! After the session was over, I was still feeling incredibly horny. You would think it would have calmed down. But nope! Quite the opposite, it only intensified! We continued the conversation after, talking about orgasms. Usually, anytime I'm horny, I would simply make myself cum, whenever I wanted. Things have now changed. He stated that if I wanted to prove to him that I'm a good sub, then I will not cum unless he gives me permission. I really had this strong urge to prove to him that I am a great sub but also finding it incredibly difficult, to the point of desperation .. thrusting my hips and humping the air, I could hear my wetness splashing and even pooling on the bed, soooo desperate to cum. I wanted to cry. But I haaaad to accept this challenge. As time went on, I realised that no matter how bad I wanted to cum, his orgasm was more important and I would never orgasm unless he gave me permission. I had to and wanted to obey him. Hearing him cum, intensified my desperation, it was soooo hot hearing him cum but it made it harder for me to not cum! Wow! It could be a whole day, every other day .. even a whole week before he might give me permission. This just made me even more horny! The fact that he has taken control of my orgasms, my pussy, it was now his! For his pleasure! He did say to me that if I'm a good sub, he would reward me ... with what, I'm not sure? I'm hoping he allows me to cum if I'm good. But if not, it doesn't matter because it's his choice, his pussy, and what ever makes him happy, is more important than my little wants and needs.

That night, I could not sleep one bit! I was squirming around on my bed, sweating from the intense pressure in my pussy, nipples like bullets, I wasnt even allowed to play with my nipples! Because they are his. If my nipples could talk, they'd be screaming and begging for me to touch them .. even just a poke! My nipples were as desperate as I was. I eventually passed out from exhaustion.

The next day, I woke up in the afternoon .. as soon as I opened my eyes .. waves were splashing through my body. I sat up with a gasp .. felt a pool between my legs. I'm still wet. I'm still horny .. l immediately reached over to my tablet and began messaging him. I remember the first thing I thought of ... the task he had given me .. which was to go to the supermarket without any panties or bra, wearing a short skirt and a little top so my nipples would be visible. Ive never not worn panties with a skirt .. especially as short as the one I was wearing. I normally wear a bra, sometimes I would not wear one .. but only with a top where you could not see my hard nipples through them. So this was a challenge. Normally you would never catch me doing something like this .. but thinking back, it didn't even cross my mind .. l just wanted to complete the task. My urge to please him was incredibly strong. I eventually make it to the supermarket and tried to get out of my car without exposing my pussy to the surrounding shoppers. This was indeed very tricky! I made my way into the supermarket wondering if my ass cheeks were showing .. i was so worried ..but for some reason, turned on. i was so worried about my ass cheeks being exposed that I forgot about my hard nipples. They were very visible through my top. Until i noticed that the security guard was staring at my erect nipples. He saw that I caught him and he quickly looked away. My initial response was to cover them but apart of me enjoyed him looking and I wanted to push my chest out further.

The whole way around the shop, I was trying to find a way to take a picture without getting caught 😬🤭 My house mate did mention to me that my arse was showing and asked why was I wearing such a short skirt? Luckily, I was able to blame the hot weather 😁 As soon as I made it home and the wifi connected, I was about to send him the pictures but my housemate was complaining that she was hungry .. I thought, I'll just quickly get dinner and her out of the way so I can then disappear to my room and give him my 100% focus. I remember nearly burning the dinner because I was in a horny daze! Finally got dinner out of the way then she wanted to watch a movie. I told her that I wasnt feeling too good and said I was going to bed. I sent him the pictures .. this was even more intense than the actual task because i was so excited to please him! To see his response. Success, he was happy! Mission accomplished and the hornier I became! We continued talking for a while, getting to know each other more. He told me he was a film maker and was currently working on a feature length documentary on a particular subject that he is hugely interested in. I told him about my current situation, being an English teacher for a French family but due to lockdown, I havent been able to work. It was nice knowing that he was also interested in knowing my personal life. It wasnt just about the sex. Another thing that made me feel that I could trust him more, was that he wanted to know my limits; this told me that he was a real gentleman and wanted to make sure he knew how far he could take me and not make me do something that I would hate to do. I remember him then telling me that he would really like to make me kneel. Wow! Instant rush through my body. The idea of kneeling for him, I could have easily came at that moment ( if i was allowed to of course🤭) I've never felt like that before and have never knelt for someone either.. I could already imagine feeling his power over me. He gave me a ritual that I would have to kneel 3 times a day. I couldn't wait to start.

Time for the next hypnosis session, it's been a while as I'm behind on my diary, but all I can remember from this session was hearing him cum and feeling so goood that he was satisfied. He actually allowed me to cum that night too. It was the most intense orgasm to date. The build up to not being allowed to cum the night before, constantly horny all day and the power he was beginning to have over me .. it nearly knocked me out. One thing I also remember was that he planted 4 seeds into me. I cant remember exactly what he said but I just know that he's become a part of me and he's growing in me everyday taking more and more control over my body and mind as time passes ...

I was beginning to feel more and more submissive to him and the more submissive I was feeling the more free I felt. It's so freeing to not be in control and the more control I was giving up, the more fulfilled I was becoming. After the session, he shared a beautiful song with me. It was so fitting for the moment we just had together. Spending time with him, even just listening to a song together, was all I wanted to do. We said goodnight. I was feeling exhausted from the intense orgasm earlier that I could have fallen straight to sleep but I had to begin my new ritual; kneel naked for him on the floor for 1O mins. I slid off of the bed and onto my knees .. looking at the picture to make sure I was doing it right. I had to make sure I was doing it perfect. Once I was satisfied with my posture and position, a huge wave came over me .. l became light headed, nipples began to harden and my body began to tingle all over then my pussy began to violently throb. Wow, such a simple thing such as kneeling was so powerful. 10 mins was tough on the front of my feet, It was a bit of a struggle to get through the pain, but I was determined to fight through it for him. I made it, I left a small puddle of wetness on the floor. It was very late and I needed to sleep. All night I was tossing and turning trying to sleep but I just couldn't. I was extremely horny, my pussy was throbbing so much that I kept thrusting my hips, humping the air to try and give me some relief but this only made me more horny. I couldn't sleep at all. Eventually, I could hear the birds singing, daylight had arrived and then I believe I passed out .. purely from exhaustion. A few hours later, I wake up and turn on my tablet to message him. The funny thing is, I normally go straight to my phone to message my boyfriend but this time I didn't even think about him. I love my boyfriend, we've been together for 6 years. We are in a long distance relationship and only really see each other once a year. We talk all the time everyday, we are very close. People dont understand our relationship but It works for us, I have a busy life and he does too, I love what I'm doing for my career and he does with his career . .long distance works for the both of us. I've never really been interested in the traditional idea when it comes to relationships; get married have kids blah blah blah. Anyway, he likes to watch porn, which is great and lve told him that I like reading erotic stories. Since I started my submissive journey the last couple of days, I had stopped to think, is this cheating? Would my partner mind me exposing myself and giving up control to another man online? If I put it like that. I dont think he would like that idea so I've decided not to tell him yet because I just know he would not understand. I wish I could tell him. One day, when I find the words to explain it, I will tell him. Maybe if ever the day arrives when he actually wants us to move in together then I would tell him.. but now, I dont think I could truly commit to someone if a huge need of mine is not met. I've tried talking to him about my fantasies and I've encouraged him to talk about his .. even telling him that I will always try anything once if it makes him happy, because seeing my partner turned on, turns me all the way on. He's naturally dominant too but there is always something missing .. I dont think I even knew what it really was until a few days ago and that is to lose control and not have to worry about anything and have someone else, who knows what they want, make the decisions. I just want to serve and please my partner. Looking back in my life, I've always been in control in every part of my life. My 1 st partner was basically very lazy in life and I felt more like a mother to him. Such a huge turn off for me. I'm very traditional in the fact that the man is the head of the house, maybe because my father was just that. He's a great man and a true gentleman too. My father and I are extremely close. I guess that's where I got my idea of what a man should be?

I was given another task from him to do every day, which was to find any image, txt, gif etc that I think would turn him on. I got straight to it, couldn't wait to see what I could find. I didn't know where to start so I just typed in BDSM in google. Well, what came up, blew my mind! I ended up spending hours looking through the images, reading quotes, gifs etc which then lead me on to reading about BDSM. I could see myself in a lot of those pictures, the quotes were speaking to something deep within me and the more i read and watched, the more i felt like this was me .. this was home! I learnt quite a lot from my first deep reading about what a dom and sub's roll was in a D/s relationship. I was hooked! I started to fantasise about being those girls in the pictures and videos, thinking, wow they're so lucky! This is what I need in my life. I wasnt able to get anything done that day as I spent all my time reading on this subject. My friend kept asking me to do things with her as she was bored but I just wanted to be alone. I was too horny to function, basically lol My boyfriend called me a couple of times, I cant even remember what we talked about ..i just remember wanting to hurry up and get back to my reading 😆 I had a shower and had a bowl of chicken salad to keep my energy levels up but I was glued to the tablet. I couldnt stay away from it .. i was just hoping and waiting to see a message from him.

It was time for my second kneel of the day. Once again, the same overwhelming feeling came over me, I remember visualising him standing over me, and looking down at me, calling me a good girl..wave after wave kept flooding through my body. I could have cum easily right there and then .. i didn't need to be touched to cum, just hearing those words from him, having his attention and knowing I was pleasing him is all it takes. I had to work really hard to not cum this time. I started bouncing, desperate for some release but it only made it worse be I started to imagine i was bouncing on his cock. Tough times! He did tell me he had plans that day with a friend. But I still couldn't stop messaging him 😆 lve never been the type to do that before, I just craved his attention, it was like I was waiting for a command or something so I could do something to please him. I just had this overwhelming need to do something for him. I believe he knew that too because he eventually gave me a task .. to recreate a position from the picture I had sent previously, take a selfie and send it. I never moved so fast in my life .. my clothes came off in an instant. I chose one that I thought he would like, which was called, 'inspection', standing legs apart and hands behind my head. I sent him the images instantly and I was so happy that I pleased him because he said that was also one of his favourite positions! Ahhhhhh! I was so grateful that he allowed me to do that for him. It was getting late, so I thought I'd try and get to sleep so I can get into the next day faster to speak to him again. Once again, I couldnt sleep .. the more I thought about him, the more hornier I was becoming ... again, I kept humping the air .. all different positions. I remember thinking to myself .. l'm acting like a dog on heat, what's happening to me? Whatever was happening, I loved every moment of it, even if it was tough at times! I sat up for a little bit more because I was struggling not to touch and cum again. I needed a distraction. I started preparing for the next day's daily task; looking for images that would turn him on. This only made it more difficult and made me more desperate. Sleep was out of the question. The birds began to sing again .. eventually I did pass out .. probably still humping too 🤭

I've finally caught up now and I like this diary task. There's probably plenty of grammar and typos but I dont want to proof read as I think it's best to be as raw as possible.