I’m a f sub with a domme and we’re long distance unfortunately and I love her and I’m so happy being her sub. But before her there was him. The only man who makes me forget how much loyalty means to me.

I met my ex dom a few years ago on Reddit and was with him for a long time. But our dynamic was turning a little too much for me and we called it off. On occasion we would hit each other up for a session and I would go back right to where i used to be - on my knees swallowing his cock begging for more and getting my brain washed by how addicting he was.

Every time I would say this is the last time, and I still somehow wound up begging for him to use me. It’s funny how one word from his mouth can make me loose all my morals.

So currently I am in a somewhat serious relationship with my domme where we have left the door open to either of us finding a good time if it arises since we can’t be with each other. And before this I have always been honest and never even thought of anyone else. She knows about him. She’s not happy with how he was in our dynamic. She also knows I have never been able to utter the words no unless I reach hard limits.

I hadn’t thought of him for a long time until he messaged me and told me how much he missed having me submit to him, how even when he plays with others he can’t forget just how easily I would do anything to please him.

His words brought out all the emotions and thoughts and desire I felt for him. And before I even knew it, he had me where he wanted. Pleasing him begging him,moaning for him. Spreading wide to take all of him while he called me all the degrading names that turned my mind into mush. I can’t remember how I got there, i only know how good it felt when I was on all fours and my pussy stretched out getting pounded and my ass red from being spanked.

I can’t say why I’m so weak for him. Even after I couldn’t take being his anymore. Even after I found someone so caring and amazing. He lures me back in with Just a few words and he knows I’m still a desperate little slut, how wouldn’t he when I crawl on my knees for him.

I love my domme, but I don’t have the heart to tell her he was in me whispering the filthiest things to me. If it was anyone else she’d be excited or happy for me. But never him. I don’t know if I can be ashamed of myself even when I know I should be.

All I know is I’m satisfied in the most primal way possible and I can’t get myself to regret him.