TL;DR: I want to constantly hook up with coworkers in managerial roles because it turns me on, and it's making my work life a mess

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Not sure if this belongs here but I've started to realize that if anything, it is a kink. I'm demisexual and don't get attracted to people easily, but when you spend 40 hrs a week with coworkers... yeah, I crush on coworkers a lot. And hard. And especially the ones in managerial roles. Never got involved with a direct supervisor, though, and never anyone who works *that* close to me - I try not to shit in the money bed, if you get my saying. I work as a consultant so I get to (luckily) switch projects and clients a reasonable lot.

Anyway, I'm really big on D/s (me being the sub). Even more, I've identified as a service submissive, and after reading this, I realised that is totally me. I work in a high-intensity, professional setting in IT industry, and the guys in managerial roles (project managers, product owners, designers, architects) always have a million things going on for them, and if I offer to do something for them as a good little helper (aka servant), they are eternally grateful about it and I get my kick out of being a good little girl. The problem is that the more they (unknowingly) feed into my kink, the more attracted I get to them, and the next thing is that I want to get physical instead of just enjoying the psychological power play.

I recently did sleep with a guy who works for the client, but he's still in my team so that hit bit too close to home. I did this knowing that I will be asking for project rotation after the release is out, so I won't be stuck with him forever. I never before considered my kink to be an issue, admittedly because I always got away from the situations by switching clients and projects, but this guy is now making my work life difficult. He withholds a lot of information that I need to do my work right, and though the life after the hook up for me is business as usual, to him it was probably the first time having sex with a coworker and therefore he's acting all weirded out, avoiding communication and all that. What makes it even weirder is that before the hookup he was super friendly, flirty, always first to respond and all that. So, yeah. I guess I could switch the project already, but by leaving now I'd leave rest of the team into a sticky spot.

My kink isn't something I can just turn off. Neither can I work in total isolation in the future. Working in women-only (I'm straight female) environment wouldn't work either, since I don't really get along with many women (I have masculine brain and all the social tricks women do are just foreign to me) so it would be just very unhappy times. All my professional experience is from my current industry (been doing this 15 years) so not that many transferrable skills.

I wasn't expecting this to become such a mess. Something I just wish I could cut my clit off and perform a partial lobotomy for myself to make life easier...