Hi all, I have a story/question to ask. I recently hooked up with who a guy (who I’ve hooked up with before) and we did a lot of “firsts” for me.. 1. First time with another female 2. First threesome 3. First time with rope 4. First time with a plug He knew these were all firsts and I was very excited for it all. Loved it all too.

We talked after aftercare - I said I needed pets and cuddles and check-ins the next couple days.

We finally got to sleep at 330 am, then he worked two 12 hour shifts the next two days.

The cuddles didn’t happen, the pets were minor, the check-ins were via text and more about his day, with one asking how I was doing. The next day I said I was having an endorphin crash and he laughed and said “I bet”.

Today I text him and said while our sex is great, he is very intense and I need more aftercare, especially after trying so many new things. I felt so low today. He pointed out that we were up very late and the he worked two long days and that I was expecting more than I initially told him. I didn’t agree with him. I said I was very clear with what I needed and barely got it. And while I tried to tell him that, he seemed to be placing all the “blame” on me. There was a lot of deflecting and pointing out what was wrong with what I did but nothing he could own up to. I told him I communicated what I needed as best I could. I’ve been doing this a couple years (and he for about 20).

My question is this: am I asking for too much to be cuddled and pet and checked in on for a couple days? I recognize that we can’t cuddle for days on end, and that my partner has work, but am I asking for too much to be acknowledged throughout the day after stepping outside of my comfort zone? Because I’m starting to question if I am based on everything he said to me or if he is just a jerk.

I don’t know how to communicate myself to this person. It seems no matter what I say, I’m wrong and he’s right. Which sucks because he had really encouraged me to be a better version of myself so this was an unfortunate turn of events.

Anyway, thanks guys. You always steer me in the right direction.