We just started swinging this year, and I'm (44f) finally trying to figure out what I like sexually. When we first started I was completely taken with the way it felt to be taken by a pleasure dom. I loved the way he took control of me.

I am still absolutely smitten with pleasure doms.

I hooked up with the same guy 6 months later, and continue to be intoxicated by the way he touches me, however I have now found I am absolutely not a submissive. He was telling me what to do, and i just had no interest in that. I wasn't trying to have any power struggles or anything, i simply was like "nah, not doing that, now get me off again." Which he did, repeatedly for 5 of the best hours in my sex life to date.

When me and the hubby were discussing it, he was laughing and he said, "yeah, you are definitely not a sub, you're a dom"

And thinking about it, I am definetly the one who always takes charge and coordinates what we are doing, inside and outside of the bedroom, with our hookups. Sometimes a man will try and take over, and i grab the reins back. I am open to feedback on what they want, but I like to be in control. Honestly, other than the pleasure doms, no one can really get me off if I don't take charge.

I don't really know if that makes me a dom or not, but I know it means I'm not a sub. I am however still extremely attracted to doms. I LOVE to be worshipped, but I don't really seem to be attracted to submissive men.

So how big of an issue is it for a dom to be with a partner who is not a submissive? Is it a massive turnoff? My feelings won't be hurt, please provide honest opinions about if doms need a sub, or if they can live without that aspect of the hookup.