Hello kinksters!

For the context, 44 M here. Always loved sex, but never really felt I was fulfilled by vanilla sex and had fantasies I wasn't comfortable to share with my ex wife (tried once, she took me for a creep) I'm interested in Domination, body writing, CNC, light bondage, slapping and being slapped.

I'm looking towards exploring those now, but still wonders if BDSM is for me.

My exposure to it comes mostly from porn content from Kink.com and similar so maybe I'm wrong in my understanding, but I know I like watching this kind of sexuality and have fantasies of degrading and dominating a woman.

I know it isn't just a curiousity about violence, because I know I don't want to "just" dominate for the sake of it, but I want to do that with a woman who wants me to do it to her, because it gives her pleasure. I want to feel in total control of her, because she gave this control to me.

I'm also curious about being dominated.In some fantasies, I imagine myself walking naked on all four towards a woman, wearing a collar, and licking her bright red shoes because she orders me to do it. We have sex, but I'm just her tool, she rules my orgasms. I want to feel not being in control too.

So here I come now to ask you, how did you realized you wanted to try BDSM? How did you made the jump? Does the fantasy and feeling I get match what BDSM can be?

I feel like I'm at a doorstep, but anxious to actually cross that door.