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I have always been nervous off stingy implements like canes because it's a different and sharper pain than thuddy or floggers and belts , and I just find it harder to face.
But my mentor set me a challenge of taking 20 with an implement of my choosing , and I wanted to show off I suppose and prove I could conquer my fears and exceed his expectations. So I picked the hitty stick I'd avoided so far except a couple of experimental flicks on my own arm. Something he didn't expect me to pick.
And he was so proud of me when I made it to 20 and then asked for one more to prove my point that I'm tougher than I look and want to be stronger !
See I'm not into pain for punishments sake. I need to be led in a process of self improvement and encouragement. I want to be made stronger mostly , and only very occasionally broken
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