So, there's currently a very popular thread on the front page about vaccines in /r/history. As part of our duties as Big Pharma shills, we moderators have been busy removing posts trying to start up a flame war in the comments, whether pro- or anti-vaxxer.

(I know, I know, removing pro-vaxx comments technically goes against our duties. But rules are rules, and we have a rule over there that disallows modern politics, analogous to /r/badhistory's R2. And mod duties are more important than my shill checks which never come in the mail even though I've been shilling for years and years and years and guys, *hinthintnudgenudgeWHEREISMYCHECK*.)

ANYWAYS. BACK ON TOPIC.

So, popular thread, lots of removed comments, literally worse than /r/AskHistorians' comment graveyards, etc etc etc. There was one user in particular, however, who could not accept that they were being banned for spamming anti-vaxxine shit all over the thread and other subreddits, so they went ahead and evaded ban a few times and got an admin shadowban for their efforts. Lovely.

Now, from the kindness of my cold, robotic, AutoModerator-bound heart, I will not be posting their entire copypasta here. Most of it has something to do with some lawsuit about some mumps vaccine filed by anti-vaxxers and stuff, and the user decided it was totally a good idea to post the entire court filing into their post. That honestly isn't relevant to this post. I can post it in the comments if you guys want, but I'm not going to do it in this opening post.

Anyways, the interesting part(s) are as follows:

Vaccines contain heavy metal toxins, mercury used to be very popular. Since 2000 use has declined, but hasn't been banned in spite of its incredibly high neuro-toxicity

New technology exist, and why it hasn't become mainstream and replaced this 160 old year old needle technology is beyond me.

For now, a little caution might do you good in a nation and world controlled by corporations.

if you have any seconds thoughts alls you have to lookup is mercury toxicity and vaccine toxicity or thimerosal. Mercury (thimerosal) is an additive that makes vaccines work, it helps it work for a decade or so and is a catalyst in a medium design to stay in the body. Other heavy metal catalyst are used, such as aluminum. since 2000 many vaccines reduced the use of thimerosal, but I don't believe it's been banned yet.

thimerosal or mercury is the most neurotoxic heavy metal. Hundreds of times more than aluminum and lead. This university of Calgary study/video shows just how toxic.

I suggest films such as "the greater good" but other films on vaccine safety exist.

dietary aluminum isn't that bad, but vaccines bypass the digestion system.

And to top it all off there is new nano-tech needle-free vaccine that is readily available and accessible for use to build new vaccines that don't rely of putting all those chemicals in your bloodstream.

It targets the immune system where it lies, in the skin. It's gets a better immune response without so much vaccine.

yes everything is a "toxin" but mercury and other heavy metals are notably toxic at low levels and there is not a safe level of mercury that is simply "okay" it does lots of damage to brain cells and isn't just cytotoxic. Mercury-Free and 0 are ideal levels, but if you consume fish you'll get a small amount absorbed through the dietary tract, and is safer still than having the same toxin injected directly into the bloodstream.

The last quote section is from a comment the user made before their thread got removed (again) for soapboxing and breaking our rules. So now you know what we're looking at.

Now, the deconstruction:

Vaccines contain heavy metal toxins, mercury used to be very popular. Since 2000 use has declined, but hasn't been banned in spite of its incredibly high neuro-toxicity

if you have any seconds thoughts alls you have to lookup is mercury toxicity and vaccine toxicity or thimerosal. Mercury (thimerosal) is an additive that makes vaccines work, it helps it work for a decade or so and is a catalyst in a medium design to stay in the body. Other heavy metal catalyst are used, such as aluminum. since 2000 many vaccines reduced the use of thimerosal, but I don't believe it's been banned yet.

yes everything is a "toxin" but mercury and other heavy metals are notably toxic at low levels and there is not a safe level of mercury that is simply "okay" it does lots of damage to brain cells and isn't just cytotoxic. Mercury-Free and 0 are ideal levels, but if you consume fish you'll get a small amount absorbed through the dietary tract, and is safer still than having the same toxin injected directly into the bloodstream.

Much of their argument is based on the idea that vaccines cause "neuro-toxicity" because of (DUN DUN DUN) mercury. Furthermore, the user seems to believe that mercury (i.e. elemental mercury), thimerosal, and methylmercury are exactly the same thing.

Except that they aren't the same thing. Like, at all.

Here is a diagram showing off what these compounds look like. As you can see, these compounds do not look alike. And, of course, if the compounds don't look alike, they're not going to have the exact same properties. This is like basic general chemistry 101.

Myles Power did this video talking about something similar to this (skip for the clip from 2:20-3:39), but let's do a basic rundown:

• Mercury (as in elemental mercury) is a heavy metal. It is liquid at room temperature, and looks silvery-white in colour. You really don't want to breathe in its vapors, as it is extremely toxic. Many organomercural compounds are toxic, especially methylmercury and dimethylmercuryl.
• Thimerosal is an organic salt. It is hazardous and toxic, but in really, really, really low doses, it's used as an antibacterial and antifungal agent. Formerly, this was abundant in vaccines, but since the 90s, this compound does not appear in most vaccines sold in the US and in the UK. Studies have been done on this compound after people claimed it has links to autism, but they've found this link to not exist. Once in the human body, thimerosal decomposes into ethylmercury, which does not bioaccumulate and which actually is rapidly eliminated.
• Methylmercury is a organic anion. This stuff is found in fish, where it bioaccumlates. This is why pregnant women and young children are advised to not eat things like tuna and swordfish. This stuff has been linked to cause neurotoxicity, and is VERY dangerous.

So I went through the University of Calgary video (which apparently is fucking everywhere because anti-vaxxers think of it as DEFINITIVE PROOF THAT VACCINES ARE EBILLLLLLL). And, as it turns out, it's not talking about ethylmercury (the relevant compound in your body) or thimerosal at all. They're talking about mercury ions. Not organomercural ions. Mercury ions.

Yepppppppppppppppppp. Complete, utter, total chemistry fail.

dietary aluminum isn't that bad, but vaccines bypass the digestion system.

Because I'm a bit tired about talking about "toxins":

• Relevant.
• Also relevant.

And to top it all off there is new nano-tech needle-free vaccine that is readily available and accessible for use to build new vaccines that don't rely of putting all those chemicals in your bloodstream.

It targets the immune system where it lies, in the skin. It's gets a better immune response without so much vaccine.

Incidentally, I actually saw this on NOVA, so I knew what the user was talking about. I'm not surprised there's a TED talk about it though.

Here's the company's webpage. It is very new technology, to the point that in 2013, it was reported to have been tested mostly on mice and that the company is beginning tests on larger animals. This means that this won't be getting to clinical trials for some time, and if you want FDA approval, you're going to need clinical trials. This is why it's not actually on the market yet: because we haven't even tested it on humans yet, as far as I can tell from Googling it.

Finally, can we just sit here and be amused by this line, given this user's campaign against Merck?

To get to that point, Vaxxas is simultaneously working with Merck in a deal whereby the pharma will use the technology in development of a vaccine candidate in its pipeline.

Emphasis mine. They're still in coalition with Merck in September 2014, by the way.