My (30f) housemate (31m) was always a little inappropriate from the first time I met him. He, very soon after we began texting (I gave him my number so we could communicate about house stuff as I rarely had seen any other housemates up until him, and he seemed friendly and chatty) messaged randomly saying "NGL I'm so horny" which I just ignored and had a cry as I thought I might have made a friend in my new houseshare.

We spoke more after this, he told me about his childhood trauma, the abuse he's faced in life, issues with substances to cope and that he was recently out of prison for a fight. He seemed to be turning it around however as he was now privately renting, employed, on a decentish wage and seemed sober.

I was cautious of him after that, but gave him the benefit of the doubt as I guess he was just trying his luck. I don't spend much time at the house so I rarely bumped into him. One day as I was leaving, I noticed he'd slid a note under my door trying to get me to go up to his room, I texted saying I was on the way out and if he was okay, he was trying to get me to come up to sleep with him. I replied politely but bluntly saying it was inappropriate, he barely knows me, and being the only female in a house of males it made me feel a little on edge. He apologised and dropped it.

Another time I was in the room and I heard him screaming, "I'm having a heart attack" I ran up to his room and he was writhing around on the floor gasping, grabbing his chest and screaming. I called the ambulance and stayed with him, it turned out he was having an episode of psychosis bought on by no sleep, sugar, and a lot of cocaine use. When he came back from hospital it was very apologetic and thanking me for taking care of him. I jokingly scolded him and told him he needs to take better care of himself.

He was always very chatty and friendly whenever I spoke to him in person, one day I got back to my flat after having a panic attack/bpd splitting episode, and drank a whole bottle of wine alone in my room. I heard my housemates come home, they'd been drinking too and I went to join them. I was very manic at this point, so was very social with both him and our other housemate (mid-late 30s I think, m) I ended up doing a line of coke which with them which was a stupid decision I'm aware, I ended up sitting with him in the garden for ages talking about how he was struggling with substances again after a relationship breakdown, and feeling like a failure. I told him he's a nice lad but he sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable and due to being incredibly drunk I think I was way too flirty with him unfortunately and made my situation worse. Nothing happened other than some gentle flirting but with him already having a bit of a weird attachment to me, it was a bad idea.

After this he was friendly with me, and I thought we were on track to becoming friends. I was very worried about him as he was drunk all the time, losing a lot of weight, and doing coke most days. He ended up overstepping a boundary again when I was smoking with him by trying to make me watch a homemade porn he'd made and almost begging me to give him a blowjob, I was uncomfortable but just looked away and laughed it off and left.

The next time I saw him, it was around 9am, he knocked to ask for a cig, he was clearly drunk, and his hands were all bust up and he had blood on his clothes. He told me someone had threatened to beat him up so he threw a punch then smashed what he thought was his car window but it wasn't. I'm not sure if this is what he ended up getting arrested for.

Last night my other housemate messaged to say he'd been arrested, the police had come for him early in the morning when no one else was in, and the landlord had asked my other housemate to clean out his room and he'd pay him. He told me to come look at it, it was a tip, so I assume the police had gone through his stuff as he was normally a tidy person. There was evidence of coke/drug use in his draws. The thing that's really fucked me up is the pair of my underwear also in his bedside draw, and on second inspection a different pair in his dresser. Along with some other woman's underwear (definitely not mine, totally different size) It's just dragged up loads of past trauma and being made to feel like someone I cared about and started to see as a friend once again just sees me as some sort of object. I should have acknowledged the many red flags more but I have a bad habit of always trying to see the best in everyone, and after hearing his childhood trauma I found myself relating to him.

Just needed to vent this all off my chest. The house seems cursed, when I moved in the next day they found the OG housemate above me dead in his room from an overdose, and a few days after there was a fire next door so I had to phone the fire brigade. I'm starting to genuinely feel something bad will happen to me there...