So. A good friend of mine for quite a few years had a lease ending, bad terms with previous roommates and urgently needed a roommate.

I was not in a bad living situation, but had been wanting to move on my own, just taking my time to be fully financially comfortable. She convinced me to move with her, and assured me all of my concerns for not wanting a roommate would not be an issue.

I find us a dream place, wasn’t working out but I secured it for us against all odds. We end up having to pay a $500 fee for her credit, I split it with her as I assumed we’re getting it back eventually. 1st red flag. Shortly after, she asks to borrow a few hundred dollars for the deposit another red flag, but I agreed as she did have to pay almost double rent that month for her old place and our new one.

After moving in together, things were OK. Few weird things like her bringing friends and making me feel othered in my own home, leaving trash/dishes in common areas, but I let it all slide. She did ask to borrow money again.

She ends up having bad luck. Her car gets side swiped, few weeks later rear ended, couple weeks later- her tires get slashed while she’s out with friends. This leads to her notifying me- after 3 months in, that she is breaking the lease and going back to her hometown. I did not know anyone else needing to move, I was NOT open to another roommate, as I already did not want one, better yet a stranger. So I start to look for my own place. 3 months after paying a full deposit, $250 for her credit, moving fees, hundreds of dollars to paint my room, I am taking a huge loss and now have to find a new place, and come up with a deposit and moving fees once again. which was a huge financial setback and burden.

She told me the first few days of September she was leaving, and my only request was to not leave me hanging with the rent, as I simply could not afford it. We notified the landlord, and she asked both of us if we will still be paying October, as this was a huge burden, and we both said yes.

Days before the beginning of October, she tells me she cannot pay for October. That it was costing her too much to move back, and she didn’t feel she should have to anyway as she was only staying a few days into October.

Up to this point, I have let this person borrow money multiple times, we had a pattern in our friendship of me paying for things somewhat frequently (before moving in), I supported her through all her hardships, gave her rides when needed, and constantly offered her food as she said she couldn’t afford to eat (which she later told me was condescending), and had done countless favors such as moving things, helping her carry and move things, etc. and I had enough. I never asked for a single thing in return, never had anything spotted for me, she didn’t even pay me back for the utility bills and due to the situation I just got over asking.

By the end of it, she paid the rent that was due, and absolutely hated me. No matter how I tried to explain that I am also in a shitty position, she would not accept it. Everything I ever did went out the window, and she was upset and found me arrogant for not agreeing to find a new roommate on Facebook for her convenience.

While it’s December now, and I’m happily living on my own. This still just sucks and we do not speak. And i hate it cause she was actually a really close friend and I didn’t want to do that in the first place.

am I wrong? What could I have done differently?