Not even exaggerating. She’s over like 5-6 nights a week and it’s become something like a routine. This guy spends anywhere between 2-4 hours on the toilet every day. he’ll take his laptop in there and watch multiple episodes of anime at a time on full blast. “I just kinda like to chill out in there” is what he says. Every morning I wake up and the bathroom is occupied, I hear anime noises blaring, and I constantly have to knock on the door to hurry him up. That in and of itself is super annoying. But for the past few months, his girlfriend has been joining him on his toilet sessions. Almost every morning I wake up to family guy or one piece audio coming from the bathroom and the sound of their laughs through the door. Every time they’re in there together I hear at least two flushes. Usually 3 or 4. It’s like they’re playing fucking musical chairs. Sometimes he talks to her in this tone of voice that reminds me of a mom talking to her toddler. High pitch, slow pace, repeats a lot of stupidly simple phrases, exaggerated intonations.

One morning Recently I was on the living room couch and my roommate and his gf were in the kitchen. “Im gonna use the bathroom,” he said to her while she was on her phone, clearly distracted. He walked over to the bathroom and began shutting the door, but upon realizing he was without his shit partner, he left it slightly open and popped his head out. Without a morsel of shame he said in his baby voice, “baby come here, come here baby come here, come here, come sit with me,” like someone beckoning a fucking puppy. She pranced on over to the bathroom with a smile and a genuine pep in her step and slammed the door shut. A few seconds passed, then I heard some of the most explosive shitting sounds I’ve ever heard in my life. This was quickly followed up by anime sounds mixed with softer farts. Like does anyone else do this.

Edit: yes I live in a tiny apartment and it’s a shared bathroom