My buddy told me I should share this story, but about 10 years ago I had a few friends from high school who had rented a house in a bad neighborhood for dirt cheap, they ended up getting robbed for everything about 2 weeks after I moved. Anyways shit had already been going down hill a few days prior the individual with the actual lease told us that the septic tank was backed up so we had to use the bathroom elsewhere. I said fuck it and went to stay with my family, this was a day or two before thanksgiving. Ended up sleeping there an extra day even though I had to work on Black Friday, so I woke up at 3am to go home and change for work, the sun is just coming up when I get back, but it’s still overcast enough that I see lights flashing from all the windows. I assume they had an all nighter which wasn’t out of the ordinary. As soon as I get out of the car I can hear screaming and crying coming from the house and my heart drops because I think someone is dead, so I walk in and all I see is my roomies head hanging off the headrest of the couch staring at me and drooling, I called his name 3 times and got no response so I move foward, I notice at this point that my vacuum is on and running, so I’m like did he die vacuuming, also realize the screaming is porn on surround sound full blast…and then I got close enough to see over the back of the couch, and dude Is in the middle of “vacuuming his crotch”. He finally snaps out of it and is like oh hey buddy! Told him to put pants on and meet me outside, he comes out 5 minutes later like everything ok? Like he wasn’t just butt ass naked banging my vacuum. I told him he looked really fucking stupid lying and he finally admitted to it. His excuse was he spilt my weed which he had also stolen spilt it on his lap(while naked apparently) and decided to clean up with my vacuum. After some back and forth he finally admitted it and I ended up just quitting my job because I didn’t think they’d believe it anyways 😑. Ended up going home and my parents of course were like why’d you leave that brand new vacuum we bought you behind. I honestly dunno if I ever even told them.