Guys. I figured it out. Sleep deprivation the need to get up tomorrow and my stupid stupid decision to take this kid's shift because his wife is doing some dumb shit in some other town beer (Newcastle, because bitches ain't shit) the till being 12 dollars short tonight have given me insight into EVERYTHING.

Anyway, I figured out why morals don't real. Choosing an ethical system (whether it's a dumb one like deontology--just lie to the Nazi, Kant!--or a good one like utilitarianism) is itself an ethical (or normative, for you suckers who use tech. terms) decision. Therefore, any metaethical move requires an ethical system to back it up, meaning that no metaethical move can be made. Checkmate atheists.