I lost my son at 28 weeks on 10/20. I stopped feeling him move 6 days prior and a trip to L&D confirmed his heart was no longer beating. We spent 4 days trying to induce labor, where I failed to progress past 5cm. It resulted in an attempted manual dilation and extraction, which also failed and I was given a c-section. The entire experience was extremely traumatic. My medical team thinks my cervix may have been damaged by the D&E I had in 2015 after my first son was afflicted with Trisomy 13.

Because he'd been passed for so long, my son was in very poor condition upon birth. My medical team would not let me view him. I was offered the chance to hold him, but was told he would be completely covered except for his hands and feet. I declined, because I was horrified of how bad he must have looked if they wouldn't let me see him. Now, a week later, I'm feeling like I had no closure. The entire time we were attempting to induce, I just wanted to have the chance to see him, maybe hold him, and give a quick goodbye. That's all I wanted and I didn't get that chance.

I'm partially regretting having not held him and viewed the parts of him that they would allow me to view. We were given molds of his feet and hands, as well as some prints, but it's just not the same as seeing his face. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you find closure? I'm hoping when his ashes are processed, maybe that will help? I plan on having the ashes incorporated into glass art, rather than an urn. Any advice or support is greatly appreciated.