So this journey started with a self help book. I felt like my marriage was on the fritz and I needed to snap out of it and be a better leader. Long story short I got better, and sadly my wife decided to see things from a different view and split. After this I started releasing pent up childhood issues and have been working through them. That is not the intresting part here.

I felt a small voice tell me to go to a certain house of worship (won't go into details so it doe snot turn into a religious fight), and I will be honest it was the first time I felt ok in a house of worship in a long time. You see, I felt like the culture around us influenced the worship, but there it did not feel so and I felt like I got some healing from the childhood issues. It is still a work in progreas but between therapy and self reflection, I have been getting to the root of the problem (cultural alienation and what I feel is a rejection by my country's culture). However this small voice has been doing other things as well. I feel it tugging on my heart for certain places and giving me encouragement when I feel like falling and in that telling me my progress is not just about me. I cannot help but feel I am on a quest to some place and I feel a calling that is calling out to me. I am not really sure what is going on but I feel an emotional and spiritual growth spurt.

One fonal thing the one place has been more recent and I feel like I need to connect with people there and I am not going to jump right at it and I am not sure if my head is just telling me to move there after the split but I do know it is not my favorite city and this feeling has been more recent. The second city feel like a haven and the people of that city feel like my people, even if things are not going so well. Further I realized that maybe my issues of seeking validation from people is not just wanting people to like me, bur more of a cry out for a culture that acceprs me for who I am. In it I don't feel like I need to perform or do anything and I am accepted for me. The only other 2 US cities I felt like this in were San Diego (but then got over crowded) and Fort Lauderdale (but crime has been an issue lately I think). I just think the ideal of a soul place is there and I don't even need validation, bur can be the truest expression of myself.

I am not sure were this is heading "but we shall see where it ends up.