Last summer I experienced a heightened consciousness with extremely heightened senses. It lasted for about two weeks and then I lost it. During this time I felt Empathy and love like never before. I felt this feeling of just being. Time became precious. My relationship with my brothers and parents because very important to me. I began to view people differently. I was having vivid dreams every night. It was like a dream. I began to care more about the world and the events going on. I was in tune with peoples thoughts and emotions to the point it felt scary and I felt like I could really impact people.

Before these two weeks I had been emotionally numb just about my entire life. I often asked the creator of this world to help me feel. It took so much from my life and it felt as if a cloud or maybe a curse was over me. I had to try so hard in life to just make it by. So you can imagine from an emotional stand point my experience last summer was overwhelming and I found myself crying quite a bit. Tears of joy and tears of sadness.

So fast forward to today and I’ve been trying to get back to this place but I don’t know how. I wrote down everything I had been doing during the summer to recreate this consciousness. During the summer leading up to this time, I had been taking vitamin D, magnesium, and a multi vitamin. For the first time in my life I was drinking very purified water. I was eating organic fruits and vegetables. I was working out every other day. And I was also doing the NoFap thing.

So I have recreated what I think was the key to unlocking my mind. At times over the past month I could start to feel myself breaking through but every time I got close it’s like the door closed. I guess I’m not sure how to view this whole thing. Is it spiritual? Did I have a deficiency my whole life that really screwed up my brain? Was it God. Was it a combination of both? Idk but I will say I’ve had some weird moments where I felt people were speaking to my purpose.

And I’ve always been one to say certain events are coincidence but now I’m not so sure. I’ve had times where I’m driving home at night and the lights on the street will randomly flicker when I drive by them. I also had a white bird fly out in front of my vehicle the other day and it clearly flew out in front of mine. Like I guess I’m just confused now because my whole life felt purposeless and then out of nowhere I had this crazy experience and so now I feel like I have something to chase. Is the universe speaking to me?? Am I doing something wrong? Is it a defect within my body that had been temporarily reversed? I honestly feel like if I don’t keep pursuing health my body is close to falling apart which I shouldn’t be because I’m only in my 30s. Idk I just wanna feel that purpose and use it in a good way.