I'm autistic. My partner might also be autistic, or maybe not, not sure, but she seems more social and socially needy than me. She worked on making friends and getting together with them this past summer. Often she'd go to events I had no interest in, and I was like good luck to her. She made friends and to make a long story short, so much drama has happened with them. That I'm not really sure what the point of friendship is. She is not sure either.

She has trouble wanting to f*** every woman she's friends with. And developing intense crushes. But not wanting to be friends with men because there's no attraction at all, not even the kind of attraction necessary for a friendship. I can tell she's too focused on other people's looks, but have you ever tried not focusing on looks when you're fixated on them, it's almost impossible... But basically if someone looks too good she gets envious and if they don't look hot at all she's not interested in friendship with them. It's something she acknowledges is fucked up but can't fix how her brain reacts to people.

Her attempts at friendship, and their fallout when they go wrong, are exhausting to me. Just as a secondhand observer who has to pick up her pieces emotionally whenever she gets hurt or has a disappointing time or whatever drama happens. It's all so emotionally messy, to me the equivalent of playing paintball in my living room.

I don't want it. I don't seek out my own friends. I'm telling her that she probably doesn't even need them if we can just rely on each other for emotional support.

I think seeking people for the sake of wanting to be around people is always her biggest mistake. I never do that.

I think if you want friends, you should always build up a hobby and a passion or interest in an activity first, then find friends who like to share that activity. But she doesn't have any passionate hobbies or interests really, just likes being around people. That may be her biggest problem.