I make very spontaneous decisions sometimes not always the best things either. Once it gets in my head I can’t really stop myself it’s an impulse. Somethings aren’t bad though and I actually enjoy doing it but if I’m judged for it then I start to feel bad. For context I’m an adult I like art and trying to diy. There’s this pair of converse my mom bought me and I went ahead and started painting them black and white I’ve done my research! I used acrylic paint and a paint medium. My mom got mad though so I never finished them cause I felt bad. I felt weird about my passion too. Not only did I never finish them I haven’t tried diying any clothes or patches since. Another time I just suddenly decided I was going to learn to cut my own hair. Grabbed scissors a razor for shaving and started cutting! I’m black so that was a bad idea 😭😭

Maybe there’s a medicine or something that would help suppress the thoughts and urges and allow me to think more clearly?