Hi all, I am new here. I don't know who to ask the question. So I thought I'd take a shot in the dark and see if I don't offend anyone.

A little background on myself. I was pretty much always an outcast, but I was the "bad boy" so to speak. And so to get away with most of the things I did, like lying, stealing, cheating, doing drugs, and drinking myself into the ER so many times I can't even count. It was almost a monthly thing for several years. But no one could tell that I was drunk. I would drink half a pint of whisky and then drive my grandparents to church every Sunday. I would drink 2.5 pints every single day of whisky in my early 20s when I was going to college. I was never once called out. And I had a full social life, I was going to parties and doing social things, but hiding my substance abuse. I was a B student in college.

Fast forward 30 years and I've stopped doing the drugs and alcohol and things that would get me into trouble. I grew up. But as I "grew up" I didn't feel the need to pretend to be someone else (A sober person who is an upright citizen and college student). I began to take on roles with more authority and at the same time, the number of people who could cause harm in any way became fewer and fewer. I masked even less. Then after the CV lockdowns, I didn't mask at all for nearly two years. Coming out of it, I feel like I've lost the ability to mask.

This bothers me because people do not like the unmasked me at all. They say I'm rude they tell me I hurt their feelings, that I'm bossy and mean. And I rarely ever intend to be any of those things. Sometimes I have to stand up for myself. I can expect a negative response from that. People don't like it when you don't let them cross your boundaries. They even take offense when you warn them they're about to cross a bounty.

Having gone masked most of my life, I know the joys I can experience in life the friendships I can have, and the relationships I can maintain. To me, life is a lot more enjoyable, though exhausting, staying masked and pretending and just keeping up the good front and flat-out lying to people. Because it seems like that's what they want.

Have any of you "unmasked" and regretted it? Did you go back to masking after you figured out how not to? How is life for you masked vs. unmasked? Also, any tips on how to find my "mask" again? I miss it. So does everyone else. Now I'm just lonely and no one wants anything to do with me.

I asked what I thought was a simple question in a sewing subreddit and got blasted with downvotes. The people who responded were nice and helpful for the most part, but I could tell and perhaps you can too, from the responses. I offended a lot of people and I sure didn't mean to.