Fuck I want to be blunt and painfully honest to every stranger I meet. I want them to know that I’m strange and poetic and full of crazy ideas. I want them to listen to me monologuing and making stupid jokes without them giving me that look. I want them to know right off the bat that I’m like this, I want to tell them but I don’t know if that’s “right”. I can’t make friendships the “normal” way and I don’t fucking want to let alone do I know how to.

It’s so fucking frustrating. Because my brain is all “none of this really matters as much as most people think it does” but then the part that follows society’s rules so I don’t get hurt is all like “you can’t do that because it’s not normal.” I’m so tired of this. I just want to do whatever the fuck I want without getting hurt. This didn’t use to hurt as much before as it does now, it didn’t use to hurt at all.