My bf’s best buddy offended me during a conversation, and I’m not sure if I should let him know it hurt, or let it go. We were drinking, and I opened up about finally getting a proper diagnosis, and how I’ve dealt with plenty of misdiagnosis over the years (I’m 27).

I feel the need to educate him on autism and mental illnesses, as he said stuff that made me think he doesn’t believe in psychological differences and illnesses (specifically diagnosing) in general, and said stuff like “we’re all a little autistic”. I, like many, can get offended by this, but he’s not wrong in the sense everybody can have autistic traits without being autistic.

The argument that I was misdiagnosed was used against me, as a “why should they be right this time?”.

He bluntly disagreed with me being autistic, and I have his phrase “you’re not autistic!”, which he said several times, playing over and over in my head. It was very triggering, as many of us experienced people judging on what they see, instead of what we share.

I know he’s just uninformed, but I’m scared he’ll meet other vulnerable people that doesn’t know him that well, and push people away from him.

Should I text him, and if yes, what approach do I take? “Hi, you hurt my feelings, please educate yourself” seems too harsh, but I genuinely think he just doesn’t know better.

For context, he thinks I diagnosed myself through Google. I know what he means, and agree with the issues with that, but don’t think he understands the power of an influx of similar experiences redefining a diagnosis as we’ve seen with autism the past few years (you probably already guessed I’m female lol). It is also not true, but he thought I was hypocritical with trusting/not trusting doctors opinions.

I also know he had ME as a teenager, and was told it was “only depression/anxiety” before proper treatment was assessed, so he’s biased in that sense.

Any advice is deeply appreciated!