I’ve changed enough! I’ll walk ahead of people, I won’t force myself to smile, I won’t contribute much to a conversation unless there’s an obvious topic. I’ll wait for people, I’ll fill in the void if its been quiet a long time. I’ll laugh at jokes if I find them funny. I’ll laugh so it’s not awkward after a joke. I’ll smile at nature. I’ll laugh to show I didn’t take it offensively. I’m not an asshole. Just a bit quirky. I don’t respond to everything usually that’s because I don’t know how to or very rarely I don’t want to. Maybe it’s not just a rbf maybe I need more therapy. I’ve avoided getting close to anyone ever since something that happened in high school senior year. I don’t ask people questions about themselves. I only talk a little bit about myself and what I say about myself isn’t to interesting. I tell people my major not why I chose my major! This turned into a rant and me looking deeper. I guess someone can’t reject me if they don’t know me. I meant someone it felt like we were connecting by watching nature walking together everything I mentioned at the top. I didn’t talk a lot about myself or ask her about herself! I’m like the irl one word texter in real life. She asked if we could sit like this everyday when we were just looking into the sky I wasn’t hesitant at saying yes thinking did she mean we as people just letting their problems go and looking into the sky or the both of us I was also hesitant because I was scared, but I said yes I did stutter. Today she asked me if I knew anyone who was single. I didn’t feel anger or resentment I wanted to help as a friend! I have PTSD to not from hs senior year! A repeating thing that happened for years!