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Hello!
I admit, I used to have the wrong angle on this thing entirely. You get told to knock out all of these goals in life -- Work hard, buy a house, get a nice car, acquire stuff, see a therapist regularly, and all your problems will be solved. While I don't regret for one second putting my time and energy into the people and things that I have up to this point, I'm realizing now that it's time to change my approach if I want to get where I really want to be next. Because it turns out the olds only know what they're talking about some of the time, and it's on us to forge our own paths through this life. So here we are.
These aren't complaints, mind you, because life has been pretty good so far. Great, even. My teenage daughter has grown into a smart, funny, awesome person. My bills are all paid, and I've got a great circle of people around me to keep life fun and fulfilling. But when the merry-go-round stops, and everyone returns to their everyday lives, I can't help but feel like I'd really like to have that consistent best friend and partner in life that some others have managed to find for themselves.
So let's cut to the chase: Here's who I am, and you can decide if that's someone you want to get to know!
I'm 37. My favorite comparisons people have made of me to characters in media are Jeff Winger and Roy Kent. Tall, in decent shape, white, funny, devout agnostic, earnest, an introverted extrovert, a great listener, and I manage a pretty solid split between IQ/EQ. I take my commitments seriously, no matter how small, and I show up as my authentic self 100% of the time. If you're an MTBI fan, I'm an INTJ - and my therapist thinks that fits in my case. If the enneagram is your thing, I'm a 1w9. If alignments are you're thing, I'm somewhere in between neutral/chaotic good.
In my work, I strive to be an excellent servant leader and spend my time split between managing complex projects and advising people both personally and professionally. I really care about the people I work with, and want to make sure everyone gets to feel as fulfilled in their roles as I do.
When not having to summon the energy to be 100% present for people, I like my peace and quiet. I don't party at all. I drink rarely, I don't smoke, and I don't use drugs (caffeine doesn't, doesn't count). I don't picture myself being happy in a relationship with someone who does lean into those kinds of things. I know this weeds (dad jokes, we got 'em) out a lot of people in a place like Austin, but just being honest here. You do you!
What I do like a whole lot are: music, movies, video games, board games, taking my kayak out, the occasional hike when the sun isn't actively attempting to turn me to ash, small gatherings with friends, and sometimes just simply getting coffee and chilling outside to people watch and take the world in. In people, I value authenticity, integrity, and kindness above all else.
Things I know I'm not:
A dog person - seriously, I know you love your pet and I'm sure he/she are great for you, but I never want to be a dog owner. Too messy, needy, smelly, loud, and too much in the way of bodily fluids that I don't want on me. I'm also allergic. Cats are great, though, and I have two of them.
A parent to younger kids/having more kids - I've done the parenting thing, and while it's truly been the most important, most rewarding part of my life, I'm reaching the point where I would like to shift my focus to what I want the future to look like for me. I just don't have it in in the tank to start that journey over again - and I've made medically sure that doesn't happen.
A foodie - This is just a part of our culture I can't get behind. There's so much focus that gets put on fine dining, food as entertainment, the 'culinary experience', and so on. I just couldn't care less about those things. I eat to live, not the other way around.
Politically conservative - We will just not agree on anything that really matters in the world, and I'm gonna spare us a lot of headache by just calling this out now. I wish you luck, though!
Well, like most of you, I feel weird going on and on about myself. If you made it all the way down here, congratulations - I already admire your diligence and completionist nature! Feel free to message me, even if it's just because something in here resonated with you and you'd like to make a new friend.
Whether you write to me or not, I wish you all the best!
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