My husband is DA and I am AP. I'll post our backstory and I suggest you read it. We've been going to couples therapy as suggested when he got out of the hospital for the suicide scare (read the backstory please it's so complicated) but he stopped two weeks ago bc he thinks it makes things worse. I've learned about or attachment styles so I'm in a much better spot than when I wrote the post I'll link to. I know why I panicked, and I've given up on trying to control him or the relationship. I'm working on me so I get stronger, and I'm ok with doing that. Nonetheless, I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong, but I don't know if it's my fears going into overdrive or if there is something there that I need to worry about. Obviously, I would appreciate specific thoughts on our situation if you read it, but I also want ideas on how to differentiate between what we should worry about in our relationships vs stuff our mind makes up. How can you tell the difference? P.S> I don't know for sure that he had an affair, I'm less sure of it now that I'm more aware of our attachment styles, but still have my doubts.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/fdwxkh/husband_43m_had_affair_with_36f_that_he_wont/

https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/flbxt0/update_on_gaslighting_husband_who_wont_admit/