There’s this girl at work who has my undivided attention because she just radiates feminine energy, and has a really cool personality.

It's so weird she’s given me nothing but green lights, and is excited for our upcoming date. Despite all that my anxious side is scanning her face for any sign that she's not feeling me anymore.

Then there's the side of me that's like she “didn't smile back I need to pull away before I look like a fool”. I'll even make reasonable excuses like “I shouldn't be talkin to someone at work in the first place”

It feels like I make myself the center of the universe. I’ve made an active effort to stop trying to read her, and just accept whatever happens. I also have to remind myself she can have a bad day and it has nothing to do with me.

I just hate how it feels like for all of my life I’ll be having this weird internal battle that I'm trying to hide.