Yes, this is a long post.

I finally binged all 3 seasons of the damn prestige TV show, and when Gerri orders Roman to the bathroom to masturbate in the dark, I was rudely jerked back to the days of my own D/s arrangement. Frankly, I became wistful and nostalgic. My pet was a depraved little animal, and while I delighted in nearly every perversion he wished to share, distance/changing circumstances ultimately did us in. As a domme several years out of practice, I’ve been inspired to—cautiously!—dip my toes back in. Posting in other, more relevant subreddits may probably yield more fruit, but here feels…approachable.

Vinegar: This would remain exclusively online. My job boasts long, unpredictable hours, I live far OTP, and my primary relationship takes precedence. If life calls, I would set this aside (with notice, but without hesitation.) No novices; I seek candidates around my level of interest. Perhaps you harbor hopes anyway. Promptly discard them.

Honey: Verbal humiliation is the name of the (mind) game. Ignore/neglect intrigue me as well. I’ve also dabbled in findom to enhance the embarrassment. Ideally, you let me inside, confess those embarrassing, shameful things about yourself…and then listen to me mock you casually, ruthlessly, and so absent-mindedly as to mark your secrets as mere passing amusements. I revel in revealing the unspoken. If occasional voice calls make you uncomfortable, walk away now.

Historically, I’ve clicked best with: politically left, slutty, dry-humored, self-deprecating (yet confident and at peace with his peccadilloes), fit/athletic, bi or pan men within 5 years of my age. Non-negotiables include no reddit chat IMs; the subject title of your message needs to be an Arrested Development reference, or it’ll be automatically passed over. A verification pic of yourself need not be the 1st message, but we would not proceed further without one. Would your mild temperament complement my slightly neurotic tendencies? Are you prepared to entertain my intense curiosity of your sexual (mis)adventures? Are you silly and goofy sometimes? You smart? Talk real good? Even better! The way to my bossy, demanding heart is laughter w/ enjoyable conversation.

When not directing you, I can be found watching too much film/TV, reading too many cultural commentary op-eds that touch on race, sex, gender, class, etc., or playing my annual trilogy run of the Mass Effect series (no don’t ask me about Andromeda, Andromeda who? Her? I’m sure that Egg is a very nice person.) Can pontificate at length about food, travel, and why Dragon Age 2 was a better game than Dragon Age: Inquisition. Frequently overworked, prone to introversion, and hard on myself. Remember that I’m a person too. We get to know each other properly before the kink.

Hard Limits: scat, blood, age-play, race-play. Honorifics are for later down the road, not initial contact.

I’m patient. My search for you is a marathon, not a sprint.