Shut up lol. Don’t look at me. I know, I’m back. I REALLY thought my search was over, alas, it is not.

Applications are reopen! Please read the requirements below and respond with what you’re looking for. I don’t respond to one-word messages or unsolicited dick pics. :)

I know I get hate in the comments when I post, but I know exactly what I want, and I'm trying to get it. :)

Me:

• Pretty, cute, goofy 32yo half black/half Filipino woman, 5'3", medium length black hair, with all your favorite curves (thicc) and all natural DDDs - I won't be your gym buddy, but I'm also not going to be on My 600 lb Life
• Emotionally available with excellent communication skills
• Professional, white collar, ambitious work from home career woman committed to my overlord the Thinkpad for at least 30 more years
• Available weeknights and weekends (see comment above)
• 100% straight - no, I won’t have a threesome with another woman so don’t ask
• Left leaning moderate - pro-choice!!!
• Seeking an exclusive connection - no hookups/hit it and quit it
  • Open to committed relationships or ongoing exclusive FWBs.
  • I am also open to being your sugar baby and will make it worth your while (I’ll give you all the feels, chatting, nudes, dates, banging, etc you want).
  • For those who want something serious: a trip to the Philippines may be required at some point in the future. Let’s sit on the beach, drink out of coconuts, then bang like rabbits at our 5-star resort we paid like $3 for.
• Clean and recently tested and will be happy to show papers. My priority is protecting my health and yours
• I have my own vehicle
• Never married, no kids - I will not be having yours thanks to my handy dandy IUD
• I'm a sub and seeking a dom man - MUST LIKE BEING CALLED DADDY
• I have a bright, bubbly, goofy personality, so be prepared for your ultimate fun weirdo with an unhinged and completely irrational Taylor Swift addiction.
• Don’t smoke or do any kind of drugs. Not a big drinker, but I love strawberry milk
• I love to travel – let’s talk about how we can move to Singapore for the next 4 years
• I also REALLY enjoy sucking dick and am happy to do so once an arrangement is agreed upon
• Most importantly, I love cats.

You:

• MUST BE EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE AND ABLE TO COMMUNICATE OPENLY, HONESTLY, AND EFFECTIVELY. ANY HINT OF GAMES OR LACK OF COMMUNICATION SKILLS WILL RESULT IN A BLOCK. IF YOU GHOST DON’T BOTHER RESPONDING.
• 40 (the older the better - some flexibility for as young as 38 if you meet THE REST of the requirements)
• Race isn't a big deal, but I do have a preference for white guys (I <3 BWCs)
• Attached or not, it doesn't matter. I'm not trying to change your situation. To the married guys: I'm happy to be your mistress but cannot host, so please have a backup plan for that if interested. I am happy to be as discreet as necessary.
• Clean cut professional making good money (like me) - I'm not a gold digger but also too old to be dealing with broke men.
• 6' and up
• Thick, beefy dad bod or linebacker type of body - sorry, not into skinny guys
• Well traveled so we can discuss our adventures (a travel buddy would be great - bonus points if you have TSA pre-check, and extra bonus points if you have Global Entry)
• A great personality and an even better sense of humor (someone who accepts my weirdness and can match it would be great)
• Must like (or at least tolerate) tattoos - I have 5 with no plans of stopping any time soon
• Willing to go on dates once we decide to move forward with this arrangement – take me to a cabin and have your way with me for a weekend
• No smoking or recreational drugs of any kind, weed included
• A thick, cut dick with a nice mushroom head (preferably 7” ) - BWCs TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE. MUST BE CUT. NO EXCEPTIONS.
• If you're good at Fortnite, huge plus as I'm always looking for people who can carry me to victory
• 100% straight - no shade to the bi or bi-curious, but it's not what I'm into. Must be born male, no trans.
• Most importantly, NO TRUMPERS, CONSERVATIVES, PRO-LIFERS, PUTIN LOVERS, CULT LEADERS/MEMBERS, SERIAL KILLERS, ORGAN TRAFFICKERS, OR MORMONS. Also, please be handsome! :)

NON-NEGOTIABLES:

• No hookups or one night stands. I am looking to build a connection with one man for an ongoing arrangement, whether it’s a monogamous relationship, a sugar daddy, or being your mistress
• We will chat on Reddit at first to judge the vibes, then move on from there to another platform or possibly exchanging numbers.
• ***A non-sexual, public meeting will be required to judge to vibes in-person before we proceed.
• IF YOU GHOST DO NOT BOTHER RESPONDING. WE ARE ALL ADULTS HERE. I will tell you if I’m not interested and expect the same treatment.
• UPDATED TESTING REQUIRED BEFORE WE GET NASTY - condoms still required

REMINDER: This is an application process, and I am filtering through candidates like a hiring manager filters through resumes.

***Local guys to the front of the line. Open to guys who don't live in Atlanta but travel here often for work.

 Btw, all you 20-something year-old dudes, please leave me alone. I see your messages and actively ignore them. There is nothing you can offer me.

Oh, and please don't message me saying "I meet all the requirements EXCEPT". That means you don't meet the requirements.