It’s been a some time since we’ve had a chat folks and while some are scouting the sub for someone to have a nice night out, today I am inviting you all to an entertaining conversation on sex and intimacy.

But first, I have to preface the question with a short story:

Recently I went out with a guy I met online. This date was a connection date, meaning we were both interested in establishing a connection for a potential relationship. It was not meant to be a hook up. We had a conversation prior to the date to clarify that neither of us were interested in why not stands or hookups at that time.

We went out for a quick bite and drinks. As the evening went on, he became increasingly touchy—holding my hand, putting his arm around my waist, touching my thigh, trying to kiss me and even trying to take me to his car. I set boundaries and made it clear that I wasn’t comfortable with that level of physical contact and I was definitely not going back with him to his car.

About 30 mins after the date, he called me saying he felt hurt and used because I didn’t reciprocate his physical affection. He went on to accuse me of leading him on, and to my surprise, he sent me a Venmo request for the food and drinks we had shared that night.

This experience made me think m about the expectations and assumptions we bring into dating—specifically, about reciprocity between men and women when it comes to physical affection and intimacy.

Which leads me to the question: Should there be equal societal expectations for men and women in expressing physical attraction and initiating sex in relationships, or do inherent differences justify distinct roles?

Some argue that men may have a stronger drive to pursue sex earlier due to higher levels of testosterone, while women prioritize emotional connection before getting to sex.

What do you all think?