This is part discussion, part FWB classified.
Howdy! If you donāt already know of me, Iām a Black and Queer woman with a full, pleasing, and at times unbelievable figure, mind, and energy. I am looking for someone with matching qualities to see consistently to satisfy the constant sexual urges I havenāt been able to lower alone.
I want someone who is actually going to pursue this, roughly biweekly and more if our schedules align. I am a switch and I enjoy adding elements of kink in my sexual activity. The specifics of that can vary depending on shared interests and inquisitives. The roles I most enjoy embodying are (capital for Dominant, lowercase for submissive) a babygirl, slut, P/princess, Goddess, Mistress, and doll.
So far, all but a couple of those Iāve met through here that say they want a FWB actually keep that up after the first sexual experience. Whatās up with that? Is this the new normal?
Is it me? I know I always smell like weed, and I can be a bit intense, and I have chronic illnessesā¦ But Iām communicative, curious, and coquettish. Am I supposed to not act like such to have relationships that donāt discard the friendship aspect? That sounds an awful lot like sexual repression, slut-shaming, and the Madonna/Whore complex. The emphasis in this is pleasure, freedom, and progressiveness - that mindset doesnāt align with that.
Itās funny how one can be told their standards are too high when I can tell you for certain the bar is literally in hell. I deserve what I want, and I understand it may be very difficult to have a partner with everything I desire. I donāt think that means I have to accept the remnants. Granted, Iām not looking for what the monogamous majority desires - I get that the dating pool is skewed because of what remains.
I havenāt dated as a fully single person in some time, so any tips from those more experienced in todayās dating environment?
I love stoking engagement, and I appreciate the fortification of my concerns! I'll hold steadfast to my positive dating traits. After my most recent breakup, I learned the hard way that everything ends... š„² Letting go is a new skill for me, but I know it's a necessary one. The internet has succeeded in the endeavor of connecting people, but has definitely posed an equal amount of distractions and drawbacks. Reminding myself of where I am in life and that I don't want a relationship tied into monogamy or hierarchy has made the journey less taxing, but I'll hone in on the present rather than an idealized future. You would enjoy the work of a dating coach I follow on Instagram; she also recommends a similar sentiment called dating NATO (not attached to outcome)!
And of course what u/srkaficionada65 said, it's always a joy reading u/cupokelly's responses! š
No snark recognized! I appreciate a practical prompt. I will admit that I didnāt have friends throughout my latter high school and college years, so my opinions may be colored by that.
The activities I align with friendship are sharing lived experiences, enjoying media (shows, movies, music) together, and talking about theoreticals, personal interests, future aims, and so on - sex isnāt required in fully-platonic connections, and I am always open to those.
I only venture out for food, play parties, and the occasional munch or movie release, but I am open to new venues as long as I know the space is accessible! I suppose what I want does sound like you said, but I am polyamorous so my relationships look and operate in ways outside the norms of traditional relationships.
Some consider that orientation to mean flippant, but nonmonogamous connections can be as committed as both people want. I am open to a more dedicated relationship if needs align, but I am not looking for a primary partner or to have a monogamous relationship at this time.
I will also add that words will ultimately have different meanings for different people. This is why communication is so important; misunderstandings are often because of unspoken assumptions.
If that ain't the truth! š I'm not entertaining lack of effort anymore. I have had plenty of matches across all the apps I've tried, but none that have transposed into an IRL meeting. I'll give them another attempt if I am unable to find what I'm wanting over the next few months. Thank you so much for sharing about your experience! I don't identify as demisexual but even when I swung I always said I could only fuck someone I was able to have a genuine, non sex-related conversation with - this still hasn't changed.
I have an Atlanta, GA address, so within the city limits.
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 7 months ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/atlantar4r/...
Not when your first message to me was āDo you want to get pregnant with me?ā.