I stated in my original post that I was hoping for a big dick.  I’m not a little woman, this isn’t just Size Queen bullshit, you could see it more like Kama Sutra bullshit……as in, I’m not trying to recreate the congress of the duck and water buffalo.  I prefer hard pounding sex most of the time, that’s not going to happen with a 5” member on a slender fellow.  There are women for those men, it’s just not me.  I got many dick photos where a 5” penis was being gripped at the base and pushed in to make it appear that some of the “inner shaft” is part of the meat proposing to enter. 

“Verbose Vinny” uploaded paragraphs of mansplanation with gentle corrections to my opinions he didn’t agree with, and he seems to have some sort of….distinction around here with the ladies?  I Am Shining Reddit Man.  Out of curiosity what that looks like, I agreed to meet him but his confirmation technique fizzled and that opportunity disappeared like a wet fart in the dark. 

“MartiniPolice” did all the nice fawning cuntery that snags a hungry woman brain, but his generic white guy photos were the first yellow flag.  Forgive me for pulling a “they all look the same” but at some point, they do.  White.  Medium hair.  Slightly above average dick.  No identifiable marks.  No face.  He’s shared these generics proudly over time and even dedicated them to some of your more prolific reddit ladies in the past.  He would have ghosted if I had showed up, glad I dodged that waste of time. 

I did meet up with a few folks.  One I met at Twain’s in Decatur.  He seemed nervous but every time his leg touched mine, it reminded me that I haven’t gotten laid in a long time.  I decided to go for it and told him to take me to his backseat and show me his dick.  I never actually saw his dick because he offered to finger me first and ended up cumming in his pants.  He said “well, in a way it’s a compliment”.  Sure dude, let me out because I’ve got a ticket to the John Waters makeup Christmas show at the Variety Playhouse in an hour.  But, I had a smile on my face as I drove away, because it was…something.  He later blocked me which made it really convenient to continue planning to never repeat the experience. 

I would go into some social commentary here about “doing better” and “rising above”, but we’re on fucking Reddit.   

Here’s the real success story: 

Thinking Man.  Better looking than his photos, kind eyes, patient, and funny.  I walked in to where we planned to meet, he said he was already there, I saw a big group of “face hair hippies” and kept scanning the room for my guy but just didn’t see him.  Felt like, fuck, I screwed up, I didn’t get “pussy ghost” from our conversations….so I sat at the end of the bar like I meant to come there by myself, looked at the drink menu, ordered, even went over to grab trivia supplies.  At this point he got up from where he’d been sitting the whole time behind the granola crew.  He had seen me but wanted me to get comfortable before he came over.  The next couple of hours were a fucking blast.  Musical trivia, food, drinks, and chatting like you’re with an old friend with whom you share tons of common interests is a buzz all on its own.  We haven’t been naked together yet, but I don’t feel a rush to pork and run.  The potential that seems to exist for friendship AND nudity is enticing as fuck and what I really hoped for.  Read my words, but read all that’s in between them as well.  Look into me, and let me see inside you.   

I’ve got a serious fetish for fully developed humans with depth.  I first learned about reddit “dating” from a lady friend who uses it for anonymous sex (no you can’t have her number).  The lack of the lay in my life made me think maybe I could get with this style of sex, but my need for details gets in the way of lots of things.  Thanks to everyone for providing me with those sweet stats and reaffirmation that I’ve got my own back these days and WILL wait for two marshmallows later.