I’ve been deconverted secretly for over a year now and it’s crazy to think how fast time flew by. Since that time I landed a temporary job in my career field (poli sci) which looks good on my resume and now I’ve just been applying for more jobs even some that are out of my field, so I’m hoping one of my applications gets back to me soon.

My issue is that I’m very paranoid about my parents finding out about me secretly deconverting from Pentecostalism let alone being atheist. My brother has openly said to me (he doesn’t know either) that if I were ever to become atheist that my parents would kick me out. I’ve even had nightmares where they’ve gone thru my phone and found out the truth. I wish I could come up with another excuse for my mom more specifically to not go thru it if I get to that point but thankfully I’ve been able pay for my phone bill consistently with all the money I made from my last job

Even if I got a job in the coming weeks, it would be awhile before I can leave given that I have to get all my important documents and insurance situation figured out along with finding an decent living space. So getting kicked out wouldn’t be ideal. How do I get over this paranoia? Or is it not going to stop until I move out?