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If I tell people that I mask they often ask why. I don't want to tell them the real answer because I'm afraid to hurt their feelings. The real answer is: I transform to become the version of myself that makes you comfortable.
I get asked questions like 'are you masking now', 'can you stop masking', 'what's the real you like', and more.
If I don't tell people that I mask, people who see me in more than one setting might think I am pandering and trying to make people like me. I don't care if people like me. I just don't want them to actively dislike me or think that I think I'm better than they are.
Does this make sense?
When I mask they tell me I'm trying too hard. If I choose to be myself, they tell me I am pretentious and that I need to try harder because having autism doesn't mean I can be an asshole. If concise grammar makes me an asshole, I'm doomed.
Which is it? Am I supposed to change the way I talk to make people comfortable or am I supposed to talk the way I naturally do, despite how uncomfortable it makes people?
A wise man once said, "if it ain't about the money, I just don't care". In situations that involve my career or with people I associate with professionally, I mask consistently.
With everyone else, I mask just enough that they don't feel bad about themselves. Them feeling bad about themselves isn't my problem or my responsibility to change, btw. I just want people around me to feel good and have positive energy.
But, I only go so far on that. If it is a social thing, perhaps this is not the person that I should be socializing with.
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