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With most things in life you can simply wait them out and give yourself hope by looking forward bc they will be gone sooner or later. If you're having a bad day it'll get better sooner or later. If you're sick it feels bad in the moment but you'll be healthy again eventually (for most diseases at least) and so on. No matter how bad most things are you can always tell yourself it's going to be fine bc it's temporary.
This disorder will never go away though. I can't look forward to just not being autistic one day. It'll always be there, i'll always be autistic, i'll always have major anxiety, i'll always be the 'not normal' person no matter where i go and it's dragging me down so much, it's always been a major source of my depression and i'm struggling to cope with it right now. Sure i can learn more methods to deal with it better but at the end of the day it'll still always be affecting most of my life forever and i HATE this SO MUCH.
How do you handle this feeling? Grateful for any kind of advice at this point bc i feel so lost right now, thx for reading!!
Autism is never going to go away, but the world is becoming a more accessible place.
I grew up before Uber or Lyft. You could call a cab, but you had to be able to tell them where you are, there was no GPS and you had to find a phone. So, I wouldn't go into a city by myself because I was scared to get lost--a very valid fear.
Back then, you had to learn how to drive or stay at home, but staying at home meant not working. Right now, I work remotely. I had never dreamed that that was possible as a kid. Soon we will have cars that drive themselves.
And there are some things about yourself that get better. I am a better driver now than I was at 20 when I got my license because I have had 20 years of practice. The same goes for dating and making friends. I will never be amazing at any of these things, but there is nobody who is amazing at everything.
Yes, I will always have anxiety and depression but the severity waxes and wanes depending on what is going on in my life. A few weeks ago I was super duper anxious. I didn't know about my job situation next school year, and part of me was panicking. I found out, so now I am medium anxious. It is possible to feel better.
I am actually pretty hopeful about the future. One day I will have more money and my life will be a lot easier. I am moving into a smaller apartment soon. It is going to make cleaning and organizing so much easier.
Tl;dr. I guess what I am trying to say is:
- The world is getting more accessible.
- We have a chance to grow and improve, even with autism because we can practice and get better over time.
- Anxiety and depression are sometimes better or worse. If you are in a bad space now, things can get better soon.
- I am optimistic about building a future that works for me and meets my needs.
Sending you love and light and healing. 💛💛💛💛💛
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