I am 31 (32 in a few months) and find it nearly impossible to maintain friendships. I assume it has to do with object permanence or just general social struggles due to autism, but I am just a terrible friend.

I can form connections with people, but after a while I just let them die. I'll think "I'll call/text/message them back later" then later never comes. I simply do not want to communicate at that time. It takes a lot of energy to make conversation, and I just don't have it in me most of the time. However, months will go by and I've unintentionally ghosted yet another person.

I went our with a friend today. It was the first time I'd seen or spoken to him in a few months. If it weren't his birthday, I likely wouldn't have called him or asked to hang out.

The only person I talk to every day, or nearly every day, is my best friend of 12 years.

I would like to have friends. I would like to be a good friend, but I don't know how. Keeping a conversation going is so unnatural to me, so it is exhausting. How do I get past that so I don't keep ghosting people?