So on a positive note I have wonderful inlaws that I still get along with after my seperation, I own 2 properties, have the saving grace of being able to invest really well, have a good job, some good (guy) friends, and will soon have money once my rentals are all set up. I also plan to drive aoon enough.

But here is the thing, I feel like shit because of the opposite sex. I had a wife that up and cheated on me and a foreign gf prior to her that was rushing the fiance visa. I also had a fling when I was younger with a girl that had bpd but noped out after I realized what I was doing. I also have dabbled with escorts.

That is the other issue: I am too ambitious. When I was in my early 20s I was on a planning board for my county and ran for office in my county. I also learned programming in my spare time and made 36,000 from trading stocks. But then when I talk to others it just seems like it is hard to connect due to ambition. I try to be egalitarian but it seems like it is hard to be egalitarian despite my best intentions.

Despite all these accomplishments, no one of the opposite sex do not seem to care. But on top of that my plans for leaving the country fell through, and so I don't see why I work so hard. It seems like people do the same shit no matter who. Also I feel like I wasted my 20s being "successful" and to what end? So I can swim in my vaults and blow it on hedonism? Because that is how I am feeling right now. I hope I don't seemed entitled but people say work on yourself (and I am including working out and working on all aspects of myself) and it just seems to fall flat whereas other people can just snap their fingers and shit comes to them. It makes me feel like shit about my condition but I realize I can't beat myself up over something I have little control over. Also I do try to help patch myself up with supplements and it can help a tad.