Single, 37M, Self-Diagnosed 4 months ago (borderline, 26 on AQ). Point Form for simplicity.

-Grew up shy, not quite a loner but few close friends. -Routinely make a terrible first impression. Takes time to overcome, but is doable. Applies to friends and coworkers. -Feel almost "normal", but people will notice something is a "little off".
-Graduated University, socialized to a certain extent. It helped, a lot. -Career has been mostly a trainwreck (not because of ASD). Depression feelings as a result of struggles. Made progress to a more stable position in recent years, and then Covid hit. Currently working seasonly (April-November). Not working at the moment. -Relocated multiple times for work, moved to Calgary 3 years ago. Worked a shit-ton of hours while I was getting on my feet financially. Social life almost non-existent as a result. -Large family, 5 siblings. Get along with everybody, but distance isn't great for connection. -Family gatherings in recent years have been getting more awkward, and increasingly frustrating. They were the catalyst in my self-diagnosis. -Dating has been an ongoing agonizing frustration. I can only say I've been in 2 relationships, and they were both short-lived. -Online dating only results in awkward first dates. I've given up on that. Open to addressing ASD going forward, but have yet to attempt it. I hope that might help. crosses-fingers. -Covid has NOT made me more depressed. Fitness is my medicine, so working on that has been a godsend. But obviously social life is kiboshed.

We just had a family zoom session, which leaves me with mixed feelings. A lot of awkwardness, which as mentioned, seem to be getting worse.

I think my main problem is not having another adult in my life to practice/habituate my social skills. So it seems to be a bit of downward spiral. I've tried meetups before covid, with limited success.

Sigh.