When I first was diagnosed with asperger's (age 16 2014) my mental image collapsed a bit. Felt like I was clueless and that something was wrong with me. Time passed by and I accepted more and more that I had it, most of my friends know I'm Autistic. Recently I've been in the process of transferring to a new college and we needed to give them a copy of the paperwork. However, they didn't need a physical copy and just one emailed to them. Since they didn't need it, I took it back to my place because I haven't actually read it since I was diagnosed. Currently I go out more than I used to and talk with more and a wider variety of people than before. I feel like I've made improvements. Reading through the results, I have the same exact feelings as before though. I still have no clue what I'm doing, still don't really have too many friends, and I still have issues with how the hell to initiate a conversation unless someone else starts it as well as continuing it if it's one on one. I read through the recommendations and the ones I think would help most would be additional testing and a speech language pathologist to help pinpoint the areas I don't know what to do and how to deal with them. But that costs money. I don't have enough and neither do my parents who I know are already struggling so I'm just kind of sitting here in a frozen state without really any clue on what to do. I don't want to bother or upset my parents, and I don't want to vent to any friend who I know won't understand when I already feel like there's something wrong with me that's hindering my interactions that I can't fix.