Mostly just venting, but if anyone has any advice or any other comments, I would love your input...

I'm undiagnosed, but pretty sure I have Asperger's. I've been struggling with finding a job for two years. One of the biggest difficulties has been that almost every single job lists good Communication skills and ability to work effectively in a team as key requirements. I have great difficulty selling myself in interviews, and even greater difficulty lying about things like my communication skills. I was in the process of trying to find a professional who could give me a formal diagnosis, which I feel would help me know how to navigate all this, when all of a sudden I got a job. Two months later I lost the job (this was a few days ago), and I think the biggest challenge was understanding what the boss wanted from me. He would tell me what he wanted, and then two weeks later he would check in with me to see how I was going with it, and every time it would turn out I was doing something completely different to what he wanted. At the two month mark, I felt like if I stuck around I would just get fired soon, so I decided to call it a day and handed in my resignation.

Now I'm not even sure if I understood the negative feedback properly, because they offered to pay me two full weeks of pay on the condition that I train someone else on where I was up to with my work; I was under the impression that everything I'd done while I was there was useless, so I'm confused why they would want to use my code that I worked on while I was there.

Now I feel completely destroyed. It took me so long to get someone to even give me a chance, and I blew it. I really feel like I have no chance at a future. In general in life, if I didn't have people around me who would support me, I am 100% certain I would be homeless. I don't have any life skills. I'm almost 40, and I've never held down a full time job long term, never managed to do something big in life like organise renting a house, never learnt how to drive, etc. I can't imagine being able to organise paying bills and keeping a roof over my head, and if it weren't for my girlfriend who offers me unconditional financial and emotional support, I would be done for.

I'm really successful at things when I put my mind to it and work on it in my own time, but I struggle to fit in with someone else's expectations well enough to actually get paid for my skills. I don't have the confidence or organisational and communication skills to start my own business, and I have no idea what I can do in life.

We've been living off my girlfriend's salary for years, and although we're surviving, it feels like we're never going to get anywhere in life. In addition to that, I struggle to stay on top of every day tasks, like cleaning the kitchen, which just involves so many choices of how to approach it that I find it overwhelming, so this understandably causes a lot of friction at home when I'm not only unemployed, but also failing to keep on top of housework. My girlfriend also does all the organisation of things. I'm terrible at making phone calls and remembering everything I'm meant to say, or understanding the key points of what the other person is telling me, so it means she has to do all that stuff while she's at work and I'm at home doing nothing productive. I just feel completely useless and I'm nothing but a burden on my girlfriend.

The job I got recently paid 85K a year, and we were starting to make plans about how long it would take to save up for a deposit for a house, and we were able to afford to hire people to take care of things like the gardening, and other things around the house that I have trouble getting done. Now all of a sudden we're back to square one, and I'm at my wit's end.