I've found myself in a position in which I've been doing really reckless things to earn attention or please men I find attractive. My physical and mental health have been compromised because of these habits, and I promised myself I would find a way to change this. After some reflection, I've realized that almost all of my self-worth is dependent on how desired by men I feel. Now that I'm aware of this, I really want to change it, but I have no idea how.

I'm very much a people pleaser, and this is magnified with people that I especially like/want attention from. Someone being unpleased with me leaves me devastated and feeling horrible about myself. This need is almost crippling at this point, and it almost feels like it's too ingrained in me to fix. I've tried to just tell myself "You don't need attention from men to be valued," but once I get lonely or my self-worth is lacking, I revert back to the old mindset.

However, for my well-being, I'm willing to do what I can to change this, but I don't know how. I'm so tired of the cycle of giving men all I can, expecting them to like me, then never getting a call back. I want to feel complete without having a man pursue me. Can any women who've overcome this give me advice?