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My boyfriend of 2 years wants to break up. I am trying to save our relationship
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Hello everyone,

My boyfriend (M 22) and I (F 22) have been together for almost two years. Our relationship is mostly good, but we've had really rough times. We overcome most of our fights by ignoring the root of the problem. This has become a cycle that we are both tired of and greatly affected from. Last week, he decided to end things. Turns out, he was not feeling mentally stable at all. He has a lot of issues in his personal life and the fact that our relationship became toxic hurts him even more. I am on the same path. I do not want to go back to that toxic relationship. However, I am hopeful that with enough effort, we will overcome this.

I am saying this because we are both very unhappy. I proposed him with the option of taking a week of reflection before coming to a decision. I asked him to think if he wants to put this effort in, with me, so that breaking up becomes a last resort (as opposed to just going straight to it without trying something else).

I made a list of my habits and I am recognizing the patterns and working on myself. I explained this to him in a letter. However, I have a feeling that he is going to end up breaking up.

I don't want to break up. I believe that we have never really tried to fix our issues together. We never really put in the effort and I am trying really hard to make him see this. I understand that he may think this is one of those times where we just ignore things and go back to normal, but I don't want that for myself either.

We're currently on a little break where we barely text each other. I am giving him space to think. I feel impotence because I want to do something to make him see that what I mean is legit; and that we can do this. The bad side is, I don't want to pressure him. At the end of the day, he is taking his space.

Is there anything I could do to push things a little bit towards the direction I believe would be best for the two of us? I feel like I can't do anything right now but my support is something that really helps him (outside of relationship issues).

Thank you

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4 years ago