This is done on mobile, so sorry if the format is weird ~

A little backstory - He and I met a few months ago and hit it off right away. We have been seeing each other almost every day since.

An old co-worker of his invited him to the mountains at her boyfriend’s family cabin. There were going to be a bunch of people. He told her all about me and she said I could come and there would be a room reserved for us.

We get there and she is doting to everyone about how he is her best friend. He had been the same way about her on the way up. Her and I meet, but she spends most of her time talking with him. The first night is more low key and they are old friends, so it does not bother me much.

The first thing that does slightly get to me is when we are all sitting on the couch and I am between them. She starts a conversation with him, not including me (it is not one where I would be able to chime in either). I am sitting in the middle awkwardly as this happens.

At another point she looks at me, then him and says “I like her”. This has me questioning whether this is my lack of social etiquette, or her being a bit off. Next was dinner. I was not hungry but I did sit with the then small group we had (there were 6 of us that night, many more the others). She notices I am not eating and says “That is right, you are so skinny”. This makes me super uncomfortable. Not only is she what most people in society would view as prettier than me, she is visibly more petite. I stay quiet.

The next morning we are in bed with the door closed and having an intimate conversation. Without knocking she barges in and starts a conversation with him, not acknowledging me at all. When she leaves she tells him how much she loves him, not once looking at me (this would happen throughout our trip).

This is when I confront him about how I was catching flirty vibes (even though her bf was there) from her and was I wrong. He said that is just how she is and that he used to have a thing for her but it was not mutual. He confessed that the last girl he was seeing who he had introduced her to, had been upset too. Her and I had been catching the same vibe that she was dangling herself in front of him. She cried too because she saw how messed up it was.

He ends up confronting her privately that her barging in like that was not cool and she acts clueless. The rest of the weekend the same weird vibes continue, but we make it. When she started to tell him how great a guy he is, I chimed in to say he really was.

It would later come out that while she knew he liked her in the past, she slept with his brother (they were apparently best friends, but his brother is the one who gets all of the girls, even though he has a better personality).

We get invited back a few weekends later. When we first get there a guy meets my friend and is like “She said so many good things about you! Oh.. and that she would be here too”. We have a good weekend, but she is still doing subtle things.

Fast forward a few weeks and she is calling him (my friend who she knows used to like her) to complain bc her bf does not think he is “big” enough. Two of his friends point out that she always goes to him for the attention she is not getting, or to release emotional baggage. So now four people in total have noticed her game.

He calls me out on my stuff all the time, but refuses to confront her because he says she has probably been doing this for so long. Keeps making excuses when at one point he said he would. I know it is not my place, but it bothers me.

He says that since that phone call he has not been replying to her (she has been messaging him memes and stuff) and told her he does not want to talk unless she tells her bf (who is also really nice and inclusive btw) that she slept with his brother while they were first going out. I don’t understand why he changed his mind, or if he still has lingering feelings. IMO if she has hurt the feelings of two gals he told her he liked and brought around, she should be gently told so.. I also worry she might be pleased by this.

This is something I can’t seem to move past and I kind of don’t want to be involved with him anymore because of it. He says that she has important social ties connected to him and does not want to be bad mouthed by her. I understand that these are the people to know, but at what cost?

If it was not for the fact that other people have pointed out her actions to him, I would be questioning my sensitivities. I am someone who firmly believes that if you are really friends with someone, you call them out, especially if they are affecting others you care about negatively. I am someone who admits my faults and this does not feel fair to me if I he is as interested in as he claims to be..

I do not understand why the gal who can pretty much have any guy does this. I wonder if it is even possible to be this mean without being aware of it?! I also wonder if it would have any affect if I spoke to her.

Something else that hurts a lot is that his brother approves of her (knowing how she screwed him over when she could have slept with anyone) but not me because he thinks he can do better.

Sigh.

Edit: I told him I posted this (as transparently as possible) and how many of the responses are further confirming my suspicions. He says that it is people of the internet & primarily women... he proceeded to call me so dumb. He says I am delusional and do not listen to him... but I feel like I am the one not being listened to.. he has been nice to me most of the time and I have been a piece of work, so this makes me think I owe more leniency to the situation. I am not trying to make him or her look bad, just trying to get outsider perspective of this mess.

Edit: I appreciate the supportive insight from you all... my heart has been aching all day from this.

Big Oof