I (27F) was mainly looking for a short term fun but open for long term relationships when I met my now FWB (28M). He said that he's on dating apps for casual fun. We've been casual partners for 4 months now. We would see each other at least once a week to eat dinner, hangout and have sex. We would cuddle and have deep conversations. We've spent the night together twice. We acknowledge that we're both actively swiping on dating apps, talking, going on dates and sleeping with other people.

About me:

-I'm a hopeless romantic, love genuine connections and get easily attached

-Emotionally available & no commitment issues

- currently have 2 other FWBs

- Been in 3 serious relationships. I'm new to the casual dating world and I've only tried a few 1 night stands. I still don't do it because I prefer something consistent. I'm in casual arrangements to explore and to fulfil my sexual needs

About him:

-currently has 3 casual partners (including me); been in many casual partnerships; body count in 30s (most from 1 night stands from bars when he was younger); been in 3 serious relationships

-called himself emotionally unavailable and an avoidant

-admitted that he has a hard time connecting with people and is toxically hyper independent

- his reason for being in casual dating is getting into a relationship is not a priority for him and he thinks it wouldn't be fair to the other person if he can't give it his all

-he is content alone but thinks that having a casual partner is nice

-doesn't get attached easy and his hopeless romantic side got buried so deep after his former partner of 4 yrs physically and emotionally abused him

He is an awful, dry texter. Response time varies from 2 mins to 2 days. He breadcrumbs. He drops comments like 'I only get into casual fun with interesting people. If they're attractive but boring, I wouldn't bother' and would kiss parts of my body I'm insecure of. At the beginning, he was the one asking to meet up. Then I started getting attached to him so I initiated the hangouts more. I noticed he started kinda pulling away…

2 months into our casual arrangement, he texted me that he wanted to take a break because personal issues came up and just some stuff he had to take care of. He said nothing to do with me. On the same day, he unmatched me on dating apps. That made me spiral a little bit so I called him to ask about that. I found out that he finally started going to therapy and wanted to see if he was losing himself in casual dating. Only way to find out is to not indulge in it temporarily. This is why he deleted his accounts on dating apps. His story tracks because he has been talking about going to therapy before and he has been looking exhausted lately. (Or I'm getting played and am just too gullible). He did come back one month later.

I don't know why I'm catching feelings for this guy when I know completely well that I deserve better. I made a list of qualities I'm looking for in a serious partner and he only checks off 2 out of 10. Sure, I felt comfortable around him and it felt familiar but only because I realized that he possesses traits that my ex boyfriend has— God complex, condescending, self-absorbed and kinda narcissistic. He is so not dateable. I'm aware that he and I would never be compatible in a serious relationship. I also know that if I were to pursue him it would be for the wrong reasons. I would do it for the thrill, out of curiosity and due to infatuation. I'm getting so attached that I now look forward to seeing his texts and seeing him in person. I ALWAYS think about him and I'm always itching to invite him over. I think this attachment is what they call limerence. My involvement with him triggers my anxious attachment style.

I don't feel any reciprocation from his end but I think I'm sticking around because my inner child is crying to be chosen by someone unattainable. Am I subconsciously holding on to the hope that I can make him like me? Will I feel validated if that happens? How do I gain self-worth and walk from this if that's the only solution to my problem? What do I do?

I haven't told him how I feel yet because I have fear of rejection and abandonment (deadly combo, I know). I'd like to make this FWB to work because sex is too good.

TLDR; I'm attached to an emotionally unavailable FWB who only wants something casual. How do I detach from him and make this FWB arrangement work?