I'm pretty happy with my transition so far. I feel much more like myself. I'm happier, more confident, and for the first time in my life I actually feel attractive. However, I struggle so much with my bottom dysphoria. I just feel inferior to cis women with natal vaginas.

I know that it's weird, but I find myself reflexively looking at other women's crotches and feeling jealous of how flat they are. I know that there are certain outfits that just fit them better without having to deal with tucking. I constantly worry that my partner will want to have sex or that I might want to hookup, but I won't have remembered to douche or bring lube. Even though my partners tell me that intercourse with me feels amazing, I still have doubts.

I enjoy anal and I like using my penis to top girls, but I also desperately wish that I had a vagina. There is a surgical option that would allow me to keep my penis and also have a vagina, but I don't know when if ever I could afford it. So for now, I just have to try to deal with these feelings.

Do you struggle with similar feelings (whether AFAB or AMAB)? How do you cope with them even when the reassurances of your partner(s) isn't enough?