So this is going to be really sloppy as I have no idea how to put my thoughts down concisely. But to put it best I can. I’m a 30 year old male who had an extremely kinky relationship with a woman well over a decade ago that opened me up to so much. It was amazing.

Over that time of us dating I went from being sexually adventurous to trying everything and finding out I REALLY like being the girl in a sexual relationship.

Today I am at face value a very masculine man and honestly I have no problem with it at all. I think. Well, I know it doesn’t BOTHER me to look like this and I can be this way for the rest of my life. I don’t get any body dysphoria at all.

That being said, my mind has continued to dive deeper into the idea of “what if I was a woman?” All the way to “I want to be a woman.”

Now, all of these thoughts and emotions are almost entirely sexually derived. I want to have sex as a woman and that has almost enveloped my every thought.

At the end of the day it feels like I’m faking it but just have no idea how this thought process happens and where being trans can spawn from.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for here, I guess any advice would be appreciated. Just a heads up, my account is very NSFW if you choose to look at my post history.

Thanks in advance.