I've been medically transitioning for about a year. The physical changes have been slow going. My main source of Dysphoria came from my chest, Height, and physical build. Skinny/Athletic/Very tall. I knew I wanted to keep my penis when I first started transition. I was really centered around being outside the binary and just vibing a woman and her cock. A year later I find I'm a bit more unsure as I was. I find the idea of having a cock... Fine. Nothing wrong with it. Its just there, always has been. It's different, reacts to different stimulation than before, I find every moment of just before getting a blowjob anxious and I'd just rather not have someone go down on me. I dread penetration (Me being the penetrator). I loose interest in the act quickly. I find myself staring at pictures of vaginas I think look nice. I find myself looking a pictures of non-op Transwomen who effectively pass and it makes me wonder: if I can reach a place in my transition where I can pass will that bring with it comforting in having a cock? Am I in denial about what bottom Dysphoria feels like? I don't tuck. Never felt the need or desire to. I guess you can say I fantasise about having a vagina a lot, I never really have to think about it because it's all I think about. I know I still have to consult a gender therapist and all and I'm taking those steps, I red to dig some brains and cross reference some stories.